Hidden in the Shadows

Once Bodhi had them on a course heading for a base that they could probably take with the resources at their disposal, Jyn decided that she needed to lay off a little steam. She was a little bit angry at Draven and the Alliance for kicking Cassian out and acting like they weren't worthy of being part of the team. Right now, she either wanted to punch something or have sex, and she didn't think that this was the right time to have sex with Cassian for the first time. Jyn remembered every single time they went to bed when she had to repeat the mission to Scarif, but she hadn't slept with this version of Cassian yet, and she didn't want to rush it. That meant she needed to work things off in the other way.

"Come with me," she said as she took Cassian's hand and dragged him toward the cargo hold where they would have a little space.

"And what exactly are we doing here?" he asked. Baze and Chirrut both got up and followed them into the hold and looked a little amused as Bodhi said that he was good to stay and watch to make sure that they got to where they needed to go all right. Jyn didn't like leaving him out like that, but they didn't have a body for Kay yet, so they didn't really have a choice.

"I want to spare," Jyn said as she released his hand. "I'm still furious at them for court martialing you like that, and I need to take it out on something. We aren't at the base yet, so I can't take it out on some Stormtroopers, and you're right here, so I guess we're going to spar."

"Twenty credits on little sister," Baze said.

"Ah, I bet twenty on the Captain," Chirrut replied, and they both smiled at each other. Cassian raised an eyebrow but didn't look unopposed to the idea of fighting her. "And what about our wounds?"

"I won't use yours against you if you won't use mine against me," Jyn said with a shrug.

"So what are your rules? Best out of three?" he asked. Cassian shrugged off his jacket, and she got a little distracted by the way he rolled his shoulders and smirked at her.

"Let's do our best not to draw any blood. We're about to storm a base, and we don't want to have any problems," Jyn said as she took off her vest and pulled off her gloves. "Baze, would you like to be the judge?"

"I think you both will know when the other wins," Baze said.

"Sounds good to me," Cassian said, and he charged at her. Cassian was clearly an experienced hand to hand fighter. She knew that he had spent a lot of time as a spy, and that meant he needed to get himself out of a lot of situations quietly. He was graceful, and the way he moved looked more like dancing than fighting. He ducked her first punch, and he was surprisingly light on his feet, considering how much taller he was than her. Jyn knew that Cassian had muscle underneath his clothing, and he was still recovering from falling, but he was still insanely fast. She was impressed, and against most people, he would have won easily.

Jyn, however, was not most people. She grew up in bars and knew how to throw a punch that could end a fight. She knew how to use her entire body to take someone down so they couldn't use it against her. Jyn was a brawler, and she knew how to take a punch just to get the opportunity to deliver a better shot at the person she was fighting. It went against every instinct she had, but for the first few rounds, she let Cassian get the upper hand. She thought she could maybe let him think he was winning, but Jyn forgot how well he could read her.

"Stop holding back on me," Cassian said. "You're the one who said you wanted to spar, and there is money on this fight, so let's get to it." Jyn couldn't take a taunt like that lying down and went at him. Cassian ducked her first punch and blocked her second one easily. He tried to hit her in the ribs, and Jyn took the hit but counted by elbowing Cassian in the stomach. He grunted and smiled at her.

The fight shifted, and suddenly they both weren't playing anymore. Jyn forgot that they both promised not to hurt each other and hit Cassian hard enough to split his lip. He countered by knocking her down hard enough to knock the wind out of her. Cassian pinned her down and smiled down at her. Jyn relaxed for a moment as if she had yielded to him, and hooked her foot around his knee, and flipped the two of them over. Cassian blinked as he stared at her, and this did not feel like a fight anymore.

"Who won?" Chirrut asked, which effectively broke the moment so much that they both jumped away from each other.

"Both of them," Baze said. Jyn glared at Baze but offered Cassian a hand to help him up. She reached forward and touched his split lip.

"I didn't mean to do that," she whispered as she heard Baze and Chirrut walk away.

"You did," Cassian said. "But it's okay; we're both fine, so it doesn't matter." He was close, and Jyn wanted to kiss him, but she knew he would taste like blood if she did. It would remind her of all the times she failed at Scarif, of holding him in her arms as he bled out, and she didn't want to think about that. She still wanted to touch him, so she settled on kissing the corner of his mouth, on the side opposite of the blood, and took his hand into hers.

It was strange to walk through the ship with his hand in hers. Jyn knew that they both didn't have any experience when it came to conventional relationships, but for him, she was more than willing to try. Jyn wanted to figure out what their version of a relationship was going to look like because she wanted to be with him. She loved him, and now she wanted to wait to see if Cassian caught up and would love her someday too. Even if he never loved her, even if they just had this for the rest of their lives, it was enough.

+++

They joined Bodhi in the cockpit not long after as he showed them the small Empire supply base that he remembered dropping supplies off once or twice.

"There shouldn't be a lot of security after the whole Death Star thing," Bodhi said. "There wasn't a lot of security before that, and I can't imagine it's gotten any tighter now that the Empire is chasing their own tails."

"What kind of supplies will they have here?" Cassian asked.

"The last time I dropped stuff off, it was just armor, but it could have changed," Bodhi said. "We might get lucky. It could be rations or something we could sell. Even if it's something useless, I'm sure we could find someone on the black market willing to buy it. We're going to run out of fuel eventually, and I know Draven isn't going to pay us."

"Whatever they have, it's worth stealing just so the Empire doesn't have it," Baze said, and Chirrut nodded. Cassian pulled out a datapad and began to go through so many different maps that Jyn couldn't keep all of it straight. She began to see the word "classified" more than once.

"Cassian," she said as she looked over his shoulder. "Does Draven know that you have that datapad?"

"He doesn't know I don't have it," Cassian said without looking up, and when no one said anything, he glanced up from the various maps. "Most of this intelligence work is mine. I thought it would be best if it came with me. I just failed to inform the Alliance that I was taking a copy of it with me."

"Captain," Chirrut said with a smile. "Are you telling us that you copied the entire archives of the Alliance Intelligence department before we left the base?"

"Of course not," Cassian said, and they all stared at him because it could not have been more obvious that he was lying. "I took more than just the Intelligence division, and Princess Leia may or may not have caught me doing it and given me permission." Baze laughed harder than Jyn had ever heard him laugh before, and it warmed her heart. It didn't take long for that laugh to catch on, and they were all laughing as they sat there and tried to get themselves together. They were coming up on the base soon, and they were going to steal a droid and who knows what kind of materials from the Empire, but right now, Jyn hadn't ever felt lighter.

+++

The base turned out to be on some backwater moon in the middle of the Outer Rim that Jyn hadn't even heard of. As they predicted, there were almost no troopers at the base, but there did appear to be a decent amount of supplies hanging around, and a few droids were walking around. Jyn wasn't sure what else they could do aside from storm the place considering all they had was the gear on their backs, and that was what they were going to do. Cassian wanted to dismantle the entire base, but Jyn wasn't as keen to see that happen. There was a chance that there were too many people for that to happen. Right now, she wanted to make sure they got a droid to reboot Kay. The look in Cassian's eyes when his friend would sacrifice himself would haunt her for the rest of her life, and she wanted to replace it with some better memories.

Baze and Chirrut took the west side of the base while Jyn, Cassian, and Bodhi took the west side. Both Cassian and Baze knew how to shoot from long distances, and for a moment, they hid from the shadows and picked off trooper after trooper. They were panicking, and it didn't look like they had much in the way of leadership. Bodhi was nearby, and he managed to hack into their comm signal.

"It sounds like their commanding officer was on the last ship out to the Death Star and never returned," Bodhi said as he listened to the panicked troopers.

"Is there anyone in charge?" Jyn asked.

"It sounds like there is one trooper who is telling people what to do, but he sounds like he really doesn't know what he's doing, and the minute you two started killing people, he started saying he didn't know what to do," Bodhi said.

"Give me the comm," Cassian said, and he opened up a channel. "Attention troopers, we have you surrounded and outnumbered. If you lock yourselves in one of the ships, we will spare your lives and leave with only your supplies."

"And if we refuse?" one of the troopers snapped.

"Then we'll leave with your supplies and your lives," Cassian said in that spy voice that made it very obvious that he knew how to take a life. "The choice is yours." He put the comm down and pointed his sniper rifle out to watch them again.

"Do you really think they're going to just surrender because you told them to?" Bodhi asked. "There is no way that's going to work."

"Captain," Baze said over their private comm channel. "They are laying down their weapons and filing into a transport ship."

"You have got to be kidding me," Jyn said as she took the goggles from Cassian's belt and looked down at the base. She couldn't believe that the battalion of troopers had their hands in the air, and they were just leaving their weapons on the ground. She watched as they all filed into the ship one by one. "How the fuck did that work?"

"You'd be surprised how often it does," Cassian deadpanned, and Jyn couldn't believe what she was seeing. Cassian was an excellent liar, but she didn't think he was that good. Granted, with Baze and Cassian shooting people, it did seem like more people were surrounding the base than there actually was. Cassian picked up the comm channel and switched to the frequency of the troopers. "I can see you decided to take our offer. I don't think I need to tell you what will happen to all of you in that ship if I find out that you're not all in there."

"No, you do not," the trooper said. "The door is locked and sealed."

"If I see any movement, I'll signal my men to blow that ship to pieces with all of your men inside. I know you've taken on a position of responsibility for their lives so bare that responsibility wisely soldier," Cassian said. He didn't wait for the trooper to reply as he switched to their private frequency and told Chirrut and Baze to begin to move into the small base. The five of them met up in the middle of the base, and Bodhi immediately reinforced the lock on the ship where all of the troopers were so they couldn't get out.

"They aren't going anywhere," he said.

"Good," Cassian said. "Baze, I'd like you to escort Bodhi back to the ship so he can bring it here. It'll make moving the supplies a lot easier while the three of us gather our things and see just what the Empire has decided to give us."

"Yes, Captain," Baze said. "Come along, little brother." Baze walked with Bodhi back in the direction toward their ship while Cassian, Jyn, and Chirrut quickly made their way to the control room of the base. There wasn't a soul anywhere that they could see, and it didn't appear that they had sent out a distress signal, not that there was anyone close enough that could have come in time to help them as it was.

"Chirrut, Jyn, if you could both check any containers that you could find and see what they have here that we could steal," Cassian said. "I'm going to download and destroy all of their data." Jyn nodded, and she walked out into the eerie and empty Empire base with Chirrut at her side.

"The Captain seems good," Chirrut said.

"I hope so," Jyn said. "I'm worried about him, though. The Alliance was his entire life, and the mission took it all away. Now he has us and nothing else. I just hope it's enough."

"You both still shine," Chirrut replied with that serene smile of his. Jyn didn't know exactly what that meant, but they made it to the storage rooms. They found plenty of food and water that would make their lives easier for the next couple of months, and they found plenty of armor that they could sell on the black market to someone. There was a K2 droid that was powered down that didn't look like it had a lot of damage, but there was something about this base that was setting nerves on edge.

"Cassian," Jyn said into her comms. "Can you look into the blueprints of this place?"

"Why?" he asked.

"I feel like something is missing," Jyn replied.

"We'll be landing in two minutes," Bodhi said, and they really needed to start moving these supplies onto the ship. While this base might be in the middle of nowhere, there was still a chance that someone could check-in, and they could get spotted, but something was bothering her.

"Jyn," Cassian said. "There should be another room in front of you." Jyn stopped and stared at the blank wall in front of her. The Empire was hiding something from anyone that might be here. This was supposed to look like a standard base full of regular supplies, but there was something else here. Chirrut walked forward and ran his hand along the wall and closed his eyes. Jyn waited because if there was anyone who could find a hidden panel, it was Chirrut. After a moment, he took three sets to the side and knocked his stick against the wall. The wall opened and revealed a massive stack of crates. Jyn walked forward and pried one open.

"Weapons," she said. "Lots of weapons."

"Draven is going to be thrilled we'll have delivery so soon," Cassian deadpanned, and Jyn had to force herself to laugh. It was ridiculous that they managed to find a massive stash of weapons at the first base they infiltrated, and Draven was going to have to look them in the eye and tell them that they still weren't worthy of being part of the Alliance. It set her teeth on edge, she still hated it, but Jyn looked forward to being incredibly smug at the meetup.

+++

It took the five of them a better part of four hours to get all of the weapons, food, supplies, and anything else they could carry onto their ship. Cassian maintained contact with the trooper captain and explained to him that he was leaving them enough rations to last them a month, and he was making sure that they could call for help, but that was it. Jyn wanted to blow the ship up, but Cassian was clearly trying to be a man of his word right now. She had to wonder how long that kindness would last now that he was away from the Alliance. There wasn't any room for mercy anymore. Not after Alderaan, not after Scarif, and not after they cut all of them loose like that.

The ship was packed tight, but they were all together as Cassian made the final repairs to the K2 unit and pulled out the backup drive. Cassian stared at it, and Jyn put a hand on his shoulder. She smiled at him and nodded.

"It's time to get your asshole friend back," she said.

"He'll certainly fit right in," Bodhi muttered, and Cassian shook his head. He opened the memory panel and pushed the card in. When he took a step back, Jyn reached forward and took his hand, threading her fingers into his. She hoped this worked; she really wanted something good for Cassian after all of the bullshit that they went through. The massive droid was already on its feet, but its eye slowly lit up, and it looked around the room.

"Oh, we're not dead, that's surprising," Kay said in his familiar deadpan.

"You have no idea," Jyn said, and she watched as Cassian's smile could light up the entire room. They all settled down and began to catch Kay up on what exactly was going on. Jyn wondered how the loyal droid was going to react to Cassian getting court-martial by the Alliance for saving the entire galaxy. Probably poorly, which was going to be amusing, maybe she wasn't the only one who was going to punch Draven the next time they saw him.

Cassian spent some time with Kay as the two of them caught up and explained exactly what was going on and why they weren't with the rebellion anymore. Jyn didn't entirely listen in, but she was close enough to the conversation that she heard Kay make a very loud complaint about Draven being an idiot and insult involving humanoids that she didn't quite understand, but she assumed it was very devastating. Kay very much didn't sound happy and even seemed insulted on behalf of Cassian. He said something about "sending a message to the base droids so they could start a revolution," but Cassian shut that idea down. Kay wanted to do it anyway and then said something about Cassian not being in charge anymore. The conversation devolved from there.

An hour later, Kay decided that no, he wasn't going to turn all of the Alliance droids against everyone and make everything hell for everyone in the name of Cassian's honor. Jyn wasn't convinced that he wasn't going to reach out to some droids and form some sort of pact to make things more difficult for Draven somehow, but that remained to be seen. Kay lumbered into the main room of the ship and looked at all of them.

"You all decided to come with the Captain," Kay said.

"Yes, we did," Jyn replied, and she stared at the giant hulking mass of black metal down. She wasn't afraid of a droid, but Kay was as close to a best friend that Cassian had, and she did want him to at least tolerate her.

"You are all fine," Kay said, and he walked away from them. Jyn guessed that it was about the best that they could hope for considering the circumstances. Cassian shook his head and pulled out the communicator that Draven was going to use to contact them about missions. Jyn settled down nearly in Cassian's lap; she wanted to hear what he was going to say when they told him that they had a massive weapon and supply stash to drop off.

"Captain Andor," Draven said. "I'm afraid I don't have anything for you at this time, and I will contact you once I do."

"That's not why I'm calling sir," Cassian said, and Jyn wished this was a communicator where she could see Draven's smug face right now. "We went to a small base to get a body to reboot K-2SO, and in the process of getting that body, we sort of looted the entire base of all of their supplies. We currently have a weapon, armor, and supply stash that we would like to drop off with you." The moment of silence that followed was something that Jyn was going to treasure, and she wished she could see his face, she would give all her credits she had to her name right now to see his face, but her imagination was enough.

"You have weapons," Draven said, and in the background, Jyn swore she could hear someone laughing.

"That's correct, sir. Quite a few actually," Cassian said.

"And armor and supplies," Draven said.

"Yes, but we won't be giving you all of the supplies. We're going to hang onto some of it for ourselves since we're not going to be asking for any compensation from the Alliance for this stash of weapons or supplies. I think that sounds like a fair trade," Cassian said, and now Jyn was sure that someone was laughing in the background. She didn't recognize the voice, so it wasn't Leia, but it was someone high enough up in the command that they knew about their team and what they were doing. They were also someone who had a sense of humor about this entire thing. Jyn didn't know who they were, but she already really liked them.

"You won't be taking a fee, you say," Draven said. "How is it that you've been away from the Alliance for all of seventy-two hours, and you already sound like Erso?"

"I'm taking that as a compliment," Jyn said, and Cassian moved an arm around her waist to hold onto her. He was smiling to himself a little, and Jyn loved that smile on him. She hoped to see it more often.

"Of course, Erso is there," Draven said with a sigh. "Actually, I'm going to assume your entire team is there and probably should from now on. It will probably be better for my health if I do. I'll coordinate here to try and find someone I can bring with me that can come and do a pick-up. I don't want you coming back to the base."

"I understand, sir," Cassian said. "I'm sure I'll be hearing from you soon."

"You will be," Draven said, and there was a moment of silence as they all sat there as if waiting for something. "How exactly did you loot an Imperial Base?"

"I'm sorry, General," Jyn said as she took the communicator from Cassian's hand. "Since we are no longer members of the Alliance, I'm afraid we don't actually have to tell you how we accomplish our missions. In fact, it is probably in our best interests not to tell you how we do things just in case. I look forward to seeing you soon." Jyn closed the connection and smiled down at Cassian. He shook his head but didn't say anything about her hanging upon his old superior.

"Do you feel better, little sister?" Baze asked from across the room.

"I do actually," Jyn replied with a smile.

+++

Draven got back to them twelve hours later with coordinates and said that he was going to be on a ship that Cassian was going to recognize. That didn't mean anything to her, but she didn't really blame him for being an asshole about this, considering how she's been acting. They got to the right location an hour before Draven said they were supposed to be there and waited. Cassian watched from the cockpit with Bodhi and looked a little nervous like he wasn't quite sure what to expect. It was still before the set meet time that another ship appeared, and Cassian smiled to himself.

"The Ghost, of course," Cassian said. "I thought I recognized who that was in the background of our call."

"Oh good," Kay said as the other ship approached. "I haven't had the chance to insult that worthless little droid that follows the general around in a long time." Jyn didn't know what either of them were talking about, but the ship connected with theirs, and when the airlock opened, an older looking Twi'lek was standing with Draven. She was wearing a flight suit with goggles on her head and looked at Cassian with a disparaging smile.

"Andor," she said. "I can't believe you managed to get yourself court-martialed."

"I wasn't exactly thinking of long term consequences," Cassian replied. "General Hera Syndulla, Captain of the Ghost, I'd like to introduce you to my crew. Jyn Erso, Baze Malbus, Chirrut Imwe, and Bodhi Rook."

"And I see you managed to reboot your hulking shadow as well," Hera said as Kay pushed his way past Cassian with the first of the crates in hand.

"Yes, but I am far more useful than your droid," Kay said, and there was the sound of outraged binary from further in the ship as a droid that Jyn sometimes saw around the base began to follow Kay around. Draven sighed and looked up at the ceiling like it could somehow bring him patience or peace; Jyn wasn't sure which one would get him through this.

"We need to make this exchange as fast as possible," Draven said.

"Don't listen to him," Hera said as she followed them onto their ship, which Bodhi had started calling Rogue, so she could help collect the supplies. "I'm under strict orders from Leia to make sure you get a good meal in you before we leave no matter what this one says." Jyn decided at that moment that she liked Hera.

It didn't take too long to move the crates from one ship to the other, and before long, they were settled in the gallery of the Ghost as Hera prepared a meal. There was something about this ship that had a very lived-in feel, and it was something that Jyn could see them replicating on Rogue. However, she didn't trust Draven and wanted him gone from this conversation. Fortunately for all of them, Draven seemed to know when he wasn't wanted and went to the crates with Kay to take an inventory of all of the new supplies and weapons.

"I want you all to know that I would have voted against this," Hera said softly. "I was up there over Scarif, I went to fight, and no one is suggesting that I be dismissed for it."

"This ship," Jyn said as she looked around. "It feels like a home. I have a feeling that this is what we're going to have to do to make it through this. How did you do it?"

"I did make the Ghost my home, and my team was my family," Hera said, and she looked a little sad. "Some of them are gone now, and some are scattered to the winds, but we were a family on this ship for a long time."

"I never asked how you were able to do it," Cassian said, and Hera smiled painfully.

"The ship was our home for a long time, and we also had to find somewhere to call a home base," Hera explained. "I would recommend you find somewhere that you can come back to when things get back. Your ship is going to have a lot of memories. Some of them are going to be very good, and some of them are going to be very bad. You should have somewhere out there in the verse where you just have good memories. I think having that for all of us helped a lot. I think having somewhere to protect helped a lot even if we started having some bad memories there too."

"You are very wise General," Chirrut said. "I can feel the Force around you."

"My family had two Jedis, so of course I know of the Force and what it can do," Hera said, and she sighed. "The Alliance and the Rebellion are in a very different place from when I helped found it, but that doesn't mean we don't have places for people like you out there. We had places for people like me before the Alliance formed, and we made it work. I believe that all of you can make it work."

"How is Jacen? I know he’s only a few months old but still," Cassian asked, and this time when Hera smiled, it was a bright and beautiful thing that Jyn found hard to look away from.

"So much like his father despite being so small," Hera said. "I would have brought him along, but Draven thought it was a bad idea and he is still so small, but next time I come out for a drop off with all of you, I'll bring him. Chirrut, I'm sure, will have something to say about my son." Hera shook her head and laughed a little to herself. She looked tired and sad, the same way that Cassian always looked tired and sad in the Rebellion and how it took so much out of the people in it, but Jyn didn't know how to provide comfort to someone like that. So she said nothing and thanked Hera for the home cooked meal that they were getting.

Draven walked in a few hours later after the conversation turned to much more casual things even as Hera began to drop more hints about how to do the kind of work she used to do. She used to run missions for the Alliance before they were the Alliance, but that didn't mean that she always did missions that way. She explained that she needed to keep the lights on the same way they would have to, and sometimes, you needed to do missions just for the money. She said that trusting their instincts when it came to who they accepted jobs from was important and that Cassian's contacts were going to be extremely important. It was all common sense, but it was still good to hear those things from someone else.

"It's quite an impressive haul," Draven said as he walked in with Kay and Chopper close behind. The two droids were loudly arguing in binary, and Jyn had no idea what they were saying. "If nothing else, the Empire not having these supplies means something these days. What happened to all of the soldiers on the base? Did you terminate them?"

"They surrendered, so I didn't feel the need to," Cassian said, and Draven frowned deeply.

"They could identify you," Draven said. "Protocol says that you should have killed all of the people on the base so that there weren't any witnesses."

"Davits," Hera said carefully. "They aren't under our command anymore. We can't tell them how to complete their missions anymore. We just have to be thankful for the supplies." Draven looked at Hera for a moment, blinked once, and turned back to Cassian.

"I apologize, Captain," Draven said. "I'm in no position to question your methods and even less so after such a charitable donation to our cause. Thank you for all that you have given us today." Draven offered a hand for Cassian to shake and Jyn didn't want Cassian to take it, she wanted him to walk away and tell Draven to fuck off, but Cassian shook Draven's hand and nodded.

"I look forward to doing business with you in the future, General," Cassian said, and he looked at Hera. "Please keep yourself and that little one safe. And tell Zeb "hello" if you hear from him."

"Don't get yourself killed out here," Hera said with a mock salute. Jyn followed Cassian and the others into Rogue, and she could hear that Kay and Chopper were arguing right up until the airlock closed. She turned to the droid as they broke away from the Ghost.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"I asked that worthless pile of bolts if he could run over Draven's foot at least once a week every time they are both on base," Kay said. "I imagine it is going to hurt." In terms of petty revenge, it wasn't as bad as she thought it could have been, and she didn't know how to contact Hera to let her know what her droid was planning on doing, so Jyn decided it was best just to let this one go. Draven deserved it.

+++

Rogue did become more and more like their home the more time they spent on the ship, but Jyn never forgot Hera's advice about finding somewhere to call their own that they could lay their heads. Jyn had her own room, but she never really took the time to move into it. Instead, she spent all of her time in Cassian's room and slept in there most nights. They still hadn't had sex yet, but she wasn't about to rush anything. She wanted her first time with him to be perfect because this was different. This time they were both going to remember it unlike all of those times that she remembered he didn't.

Jyn wasn't sure how they came across the moon Ajan Kloss in the Outer Rim, but the humid jungles reminded her a bit of Yavin. She knew it wasn't anything that any of the others were used to since all their homes were from very different environments from this one. However, the planet had an atmosphere that they could breathe, and it was one of the moons that no one seemed to really give a second thought. There appeared to be a few small smuggler's hideouts across the moon but nothing permanent. They were just tired, the first time they found it, and looking for somewhere to breathe fresh hair instead of the recycled air of Rogue when Ajan Kloss came into view.

Now that they were wandering around the moon, it seemed like a nice enough place. The wildlife didn't seem too interested in them, and if there were any locals, they didn't seem keen on showing their faces. There were some small rock sections and caves that could protect from any rainstorms, and it seemed nice enough to set up for the night at least. That first night became two, and before long, a week went by, and none of them wanted to really leave. The moon didn't feel like home, but it felt like something which was more than any of them had.

"Do you think this is what Hera was talking about?" Jyn asked the fifth time they returned to Ajan Kloss when they didn't really have any reason to return, aside from the fact that they wanted to. They had built a small little home into the rocks now so they could keep their things. It was just one large room with all of their bunks in the middle of the room so they could share, but it was theirs. It was something that no one else had touched.

"I don't know, maybe?" Cassian said as he looked around. It was like he was coming to the same realization that she was; they had made space here for themselves without even realizing it. They kept coming back because they all slept better with the sounds of the jungle filling their ears. They all enjoyed the little home they made despite it being nothing more than one giant room with some beds in it.

That night Cassian took her hand and guided her up the rocks. He had a blanket underneath his arm, and it took some effort on both of their parts to make it to the top of the rock formation with the blanket, but they managed. The stars were bright in the sky, and they could hear nothing but the sounds of their crew moving below and the jungle planet. Cassian laid out the blanket on a flat portion of the rock formation, and they laid down together. It was beautiful.

"This is beautiful," Jyn said as she pulled Cassian a little closer. "I have to say I didn't think I had earned seeing something this beautiful or feeling this sense of peace."

"I know," Cassian said. Their last mission, a raid on a supply ship, had gone extremely well, and they still had enough money to get by without having to take jobs from anyone who seemed shady. "I don't feel like I've earned it either, not after what I've done." Cassian turned, so they were looking at each other, sharing the same breath, and Jyn had to kiss him. They were beneath the stars on the planet that was beginning to feel like their home base. She had to know what Cassian at peace tasted like.

It was all too perfect as they lay there underneath the stars exchanging soft and deep kisses that when Cassian slipped a hand underneath her shirt to get to skin, Jyn nearly jumped.

"I'm sorry," Cassian said as he pulled his hand back. "We don't have to--"

"Cassian Andor put your fucking hands back on me immediately," Jyn demanded, and Cassian huffed a laugh against her lips as he pulled her closer to him.

"You're so bossy, and here I thought I was the Captain of this crew," he said. Jyn had some sort of smart remark to that, but Cassian began to touch her again, and all words flew out of her head. Jyn pushed Cassian's jacket off of his shoulders and made sure not to throw it aside because they would have to find it again. There was no way they were climbing down this rock half-naked. Cassian expertly slid her vest off of her shoulders, and Jyn decided she was done wasting time and pulled her shirt over her head. The humidity meant that Jyn already felt like her skin was covered in sweat, but right now, she didn't care. Right now, she wanted to touch him.

They were lying on a blanket on rocks, so Jyn knew they weren't going to be able to do too much logistically, but that didn't mean anything to her right now. She pulled Cassian into another kiss, and when she bit down on his lower lip, he moaned into her mouth. She finally got his shirt off, and Jyn was in the middle of mapping his scars with her hands again when Cassian found that sensitive spot on her neck. Jyn arched against him and really didn't care that there was going to be a bruise there that everyone was going to see and probably comment on as long as Cassian didn't stop what he was doing.

"I wanted this to be special for you," Cassian whispered into her skin. "I wanted to do this right because you're special and you're important to me. I feel like I'm fucking this up. I didn't bring us up here to do this." Jyn slipped her fingers into his hair and pulled Cassian back so she could look into his dark eyes.

"This is special," Jyn said. "And you already do right by me. I want this, and I want you." Cassian smiled, and in the glow of the stars and the light coming off the small moons that orbited Ajan Kloss, he seemed to glow. It was a little ridiculous to remove their shoes and pants to get naked, and they both nearly fell over laughing when Jyn had to frantically scramble to catch one of her boots before it went over the edge, but it was light. It was good, and when they were finally side by side, no clothes between them, it felt completely different from all of those times they slept together when Jyn was repeating the mission to Scarif. It felt more and more intense.

Cassian kissed her as he slipped a hand between her legs. Jyn wanted to get his mouth on her, but that was something that would have to come later. Right now, his talented fingers were making her see even more stars. They weren't that far away from the others, and they didn't need to be overhearing this, so Jyn smashed their lips together when she came.

The rock was hell on her back, but Jyn didn't care because it took everything she had not to scream when Cassian pushed into her. They were both covered in sweat from the humidity, and Jyn could feel the blanket sticking to her back. It was all a little uncomfortable, and she didn't care at all as she pulled Cassian down for another kiss. He reached between her legs, and Jyn scratched his back hard enough to draw blood as she struggled to muffle her cries. Cassian bit down on her shoulder as he fell over the edge, and it felt like it took a long time for the two of them to get their breath back. They were sticky, it was too hot, the rock wasn't comfortable at all, and Jyn wasn't entirely sure all of their clothes were where they left them.

It was perfect.

The next six months go by without much incident. Draven calls them and tells them about some off of the books missions that they can do that usually involve interrupting some sort of shipment or getting some information. They begin to build a home on Ajan Kloss, and Jyn allows herself to start to feel a little happy with Cassian. She allows herself to hope that when he smiles at her that maybe he's going to feel the same way about her that she feels about him. They drop off data with Draven and sometimes Hera. Draven will also send them to small towns and settlements and try to see if they can be liberated. It was twice now that they had been sent on missions to help other rebels fight against the empire only to have to leave before the actual Alliance reinforcements would come. It didn't make her feel very good about what they were doing, but she was able to see the lives that they were saving.

Cassian didn't tell Draven that he copied every single piece of data he got his hands on and added it to the data he stole from the Alliance when they left. When Draven would ask if anyone had copies of the information they were giving him, Cassian would expertly lie like it was nothing. He was a spy, and spies were liars, but sometimes it sent her teeth on edge to see how easily he would lie to someone he used to respect so much. It made her wonder, sometimes, how much he lied to her. It was a thought she tried not to linger on too much because it wouldn't help anyone, and they had plenty of other things to focus on.

The last six months also meant that she learned new things about the rest of her team as well. While she was desperate to save their lives, Jyn realized that she actually knew very little about the men that she considered family. She found out that Baze was an assassin and was a bit disturbed the first time he and Cassian both started talking about a job like they were going to kill someone. Chirrut insisted that he was not a Jedi but that the Force was just with him. The two of them had been together for many, many years, and on most planets, they were considered married though it wasn't official anywhere. Bodhi lost all of his family when Jedha was destroyed and said that he had no one to go back to. When Jyn asked him one night over a bottle of liquor if there was a boy or a girl or someone else that he left behind, Bodhi looked at her funny.

"No, there isn't anyone," he said.

"Oh, but there should be," Jyn said as she smiled at him. "You're so sweet, and you deserve the best. Maybe, someday, we can find you, someone you can be with."

"No, Jyn, you're misunderstanding, but thank you for the rambling compliment," Bodhi said, and he was grinning. "I don't have anyone because I don't want anyone. I don't have any desire for any sort of sexual or romantic partners." Something cold settled into her stomach as she thought about the far-away look in his eyes after Bor Gullet and what Saw did to him.

"Saw didn't, I mean did the Partisans--" Jyn started, but Bodhi shook her head, which effectively cut her off.

"No, I've been like this for a long, long time. I can't remember a time in my life when I really wanted anyone like that. My mum used to say how much she wanted me to get married but," Bodhi cut himself and didn't quite shrug, but he frowned deeply and released a breath. "Anyway, no, there isn't anyone. That being said, I am one of those annoying people that loves sharing beds with people and cuddling. I don't think that is something Baze and Chirrut would ever be interested in, but if you and Cassian are ever willing to just let me stay with you sometimes and sleep, that would be all I need." Jyn would give Bodhi Rook the world, and she smiled as she leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

"I'm sure Cassian would be fine with that," she said. They finished the bottle of terrible liquor and woke up on the floor of their small home wrapped up in each other with pillows under their heads and blankets over their bodies. Cassian was nearby, and he looked up from his datapad when he saw they were awake. He wordlessly passed them some water and painkillers, and Jyn didn't think she could love him anymore. She was about to ask him what was wrong when she noticed the pinched expression he got when something was on his mind. Jyn decided it was probably best to leave it alone until he was ready to talk about it or until she wasn't hungover, whichever came first.

+++

It turned out that Jyn was going to have to wait two full days before Cassian finally pulled them all aside and decided to explain what was bothering him. He had spent the last week going through the latest data they had stolen for Draven and cross-referencing it with everything that he already had. This was a process that usually took entire teams, so he spent a lot of timing just trying to figure out where everything went. He looked troubled, and Jyn felt like she could reach over and take his hand without it being a big deal now.

"So, I found something that I think is a mission that could appeal to us," Cassian said, but there was something about the way that he said it that immediately set Jyn nerves on edge.

"Did this come from Draven?" Baze asked because Cassian usually mentions when Draven leaves them with some sort of mission, and he hadn't said anything this time. As far as Jyn knew, the communicator hadn't gone off either.

"No, this isn't from Draven," Cassian said, and he released a deep breath. "As you all know, some of the work I did for the Rebellion was not all good work. I did my fair share of spying, and I did my fair share of assassinations as well. Baze knows what it's like to take a life in that fashion and what it can do to you. It's something that you shouldn't consider lightly, and the fact that the Alliance sometimes seemed to see it as something that wasn't a big deal was something that bothered me." Cassian paused as he pulled up an image of an Imperial Admiral it looked like, but both Baze and Bodhi had visceral reactions to the image.

"Where did you get that?" Baze asked.

"It was in the latest batch of data I got for Draven," Cassian said. "This time, he was precise about asking me if I copied or looked at the information. This is probably why." Chirrut didn't say anything, but he didn't ask for an explanation either. So Jyn decided it was going to be on her to find out what was going on.

"Who is that?" she asked.

"That is Admiral Caster Obdris," Cassian said. "He is the one who set up the blockage around Jedha and is responsible for the patrols that would kill the citizens. He is also the one who personally ordered the Temple razed to the ground. This batch of information reveals where he is going to be in a week, and it's a location that I've scouted before. It's a location that I've been successful at before."

"It's a location you've killed at before," Bodhi said softly, and Cassian nodded. Kay was standing nearby but didn't say anything as he looked them over. This wasn't the sort of thing that Kay got involved in because this was Cassian trying to figure out what they were going to do next.

"You want to go in," Baze said. "You think we can go in and kill him. You want to get revenge for Jedha and our people."

"Yes," Cassian said in a tone of voice that Jyn hadn't ever heard before. "I know I can kill this son of a bitch, and I want to. I want to feel like I've made some sort of difference that isn't just stealing data and interrupting shipments and sometimes helping liberate settlements. I want to go after higher leadership, and this is the perfect person to go after." Cassian paused, and Jyn released his hand to walk around their home. She didn't like this, she didn't like this at all, and she really didn't like the way Cassian sounded when he said he wanted to kill this man. "We are a team, and we will not do this mission without a majority vote."

"I want him dead for what he did to my home," Baze said without hesitation. "I will help you do this mission, Captain."

"I do not believe our brothers and sisters would want this for us, Baze," Chirrut said. "I don't think it's a good idea, and it's not a mission we should take." Jyn thought about standing on the top of that tower the first time she got to kill Krennic. She thought about shooting him and getting revenge for the first time. Jyn thought about looking down and seeing him bleeding out on the ground. She thought about how she felt hollow and empty afterward.

"It won't bring you peace," she whispered as she turned and looked at them. "It won't make it better; I know it won't."

"You're saying you wouldn't have gotten revenge on Krennic if you got the chance?" Cassian asked, and Jyn winced. She didn't know how to tell him that she got her revenge and it didn't bring her peace without sounding like a crazy person.

"I think that it's not going to change much of anything in the long run," Jyn said. "What is one dead Admiral to the Empire?" They were split down the middle, and everyone turned to look at Bodhi. Jyn felt pretty good now because she didn't see Bodhi as the type of man that got bloodthirsty, and even if he wanted revenge, she didn't think he was going to say he wanted to kill a man in cold blood. Bodhi was staring at his hands, and he looked a little pale.

"Cassian, do you really think you and Baze can kill him? And get away?" Bodhi asked, which was not the question Jyn thought he would ask. Kay shifted, and now the droid looked like he was going to get involved.

"I want a vote in this," Kay demanded, but no one listened to him.

"I can't make promises, Bodhi, you know that, but I've pulled off a successful mission on this planet and at this specific location before," Cassian replied.

"I would very much like a vote now," Kay said a little louder, and Jyn thought he was going to start stomping his feet like a child, but Cassian wasn't even looking at him. He was entirely focused on Bodhi. Bodhi looked at his hands, pressed his lips together, then back up at Cassian, and Jyn felt her blood run cold. She knew that look. She saw that look with the Partisans, and she saw it often. It was the look of a person that wanted revenge. She knew that look because before Scarif and reliving that nightmare, it was a look she saw reflected in mirrors for years.

"Weeks before the Death Star appeared over our home; he made our lives hell. He was the one who put up the blockade so my family couldn't get off of the planet and to safety before the Death Star arrived," Bodhi said. "I want you to kill him." Jyn closed her eyes and tried to breathe through the dread she was feeling. They were going to assassinate someone, and if something went wrong, she wasn't going to get a chance to fix it. If they lost someone, this time, they were lost for good.

+++

Kay all but dragged Cassian away from them the moment they decided to do the mission, and Jyn was a little surprised. She didn't think she had ever seen the droid handle Cassian so roughly, but whatever he had to say must not have been good. Jyn could see the two of them arguing, but she couldn't hear the words. Cassian looked annoyed the long Kay spoke, and she didn't know how a droid managed to look angry, but he was. Jyn walked a little closer, and while she didn't want to eavesdrop, she couldn't help herself.

"You hated missions like this when Draven gave them to you," Kay said. "I have listened to you tell me multiple times about how much you hated these missions. You hated the very mission that happened at this exact same location. I remember because I have a perfect memory."

"This is different, Kay," Cassian said.

"It is not. It is the same, and if we were going to keep doing the same things that Draven used to order us to do, we should have found a way to stay in the Alliance," Kay replied. "There is no point to us being out here."

"It is different, Kay, but it's a human thing. You wouldn't understand now drop it, or you can stay here," Cassian snapped. There was a beat of silence as the two of them stared at each other; Jyn didn't think she would ever see the day Cassian and Kay fought like this.

"I will help you," Kay said.

"Good," Cassian said, and he turned to walk away.

"Even if that means helping you die," Kay finished. Cassian froze but didn't turn around. The two of them didn't speak for the rest of the evening, and Kay, who was usually around for dinner providing color commentary, decided he was better off prepping the ship.

Later that night Jyn climbed onto the top of the rock formation and sat out among the stars. She wanted to be alone, but it seemed that Cassian hadn't gotten that message as he joined her not long after. He didn't say anything as he sat down next to her and Jyn wanted to tell him to fuck off, she wanted to be angry, but it wasn't going to do any good.

"I thought we were going to try and still do good when we left the Alliance," Jyn said as she looked out at the jungle. Baze, Chirrut, Kay, and Bodhi were packing up the ship so they could leave in the morning.

"We are," Cassian said, and Jyn couldn't help her mocking laugh.

"One Admiral isn't going to make a difference. Even if we kill him before he can do what he did to Jedha to another planet, they're just going to assign another Admiral who is going to do the same thing," Jyn snapped. "It's not going to bring back all of those people, and it isn't going to really help people. It's not going to do anything. This isn't helping people, and I thought that was what we were going to do. I want to help people, Cassian."

"I am helping people," Cassian said, and she was about to ask him what he was talking about when he gestured to Bodhi and Baze. "I'm helping them. Baze is getting restless, and he doesn't feel like we're doing enough. He's spoken to me about going off to do his own jobs, and I don't think that's the best idea. I think it's safer to keep all of us together so we can take care of each other and so I can look out for all of you. This will help that. Bodhi still feels guilty that he wasn't able to save his family and that guilt is starting to eat him alive. I don't want to lose Bodhi to the bottle or spice or anything else that he will inevitably turn to if we don't do something about that guilt as misplaced as it might be. We might not be helping the galaxy as a whole with this mission, but we'll be helping them, and I'll take a risk for them, will you?"

"You know I will," Jyn said softly and sighed as she watched them. "You told me you hated killing for the Alliance and that you didn't want to do it anymore."

"I don't, but I'll do it for them. I'd do anything for them because they risked everything to follow me out here," Cassian replied. He moved closer as he put his arm around her and held Jyn close. They stayed like that for a little while until Chirrut somehow knew that they were up on the rock and yelled that they should come down to help. Jyn still didn't like this mission, but she knew all about doing anything for people and these people in particular. It wasn't a great explanation, but it was going to have to be enough.

The left Ajan Kloss that night and Jyn curled up in Cassian's bed and listened to his heartbeat. She thought about what Bodhi told her the other day about what he wanted and how Cassian said he would do anything for the members of Rogue One.

"Cassian, Bodhi told me something about himself, and I was wondering if I could share it with you," Jyn said.

"If you think he'd be okay with that," Cassian said. Jyn explained what Bodhi told her, and Cassian listened patiently. She knew that it took some time for Cassian to feel physically comfortable with people, but she thought there was a chance that Bodhi might be different. At the end of the conversation, he nodded and said that anytime Bodhi wanted to come and share their bed, he was welcome. Then he frowned and said something about needing to invest in a bigger bed if that was going to be the case. There was something about that frown that warmed Jyn's heart, and she leaned forward to kiss him.

They didn't do this on the ship very often because they never knew when an attack was going to happen, but Jyn wanted to feel his skin right now. They were going to start planning for a mission tomorrow, and when they arrived, they would have to scout the location. They would be lucky to get any sleep together, let alone anytime alone. That didn't mean there was enough time to do much, though. They were in loose sleep clothes, and Jyn moaned against his lips when Cassian slips his fingers into her underwear.

"I should really thank the woman that taught you how to do this," Jyn managed to say against his lips. "She did the galaxy a favor." Cassian didn't say anything, but Jyn could taste his smile as he began to work her to the edge slowly. When she came, she was holding onto him as tightly as she could and whispering how much he meant to her against his lips. As Jyn wrapped her hand around her, she knew, deep down, that their missions were going to be dangerous. That sometimes they were going to get hurt, but it still frightened her. It was still her worst nightmare to think this might be the last time she got to hold him like this. So if she held onto Cassian a little tighter that night, there wasn't anyone to see it, and Cassian didn't say anything about it.

Rogue landed on the Ring of Kafrene three days later, and Jyn didn't feel any better about this mission. Their scandocs were good enough to fool the Imperials at the port, but their presence here was a lot stronger than they thought it would be. Kafrene didn't have a lot going for it, but there was one high-class area where Imperials would gather to have food and talk amongst themselves. That was the place that they were going to find Admiral Obdris and the place that Cassian said he had staked out once before. She still didn't trust it, and she wasn't sure what she thought about this place.

Once they had a safe house located and Cassian managed to convince Kay to stay on the ship because he could draw attention to them, it was time for all of them to go out and see what kind of information they could find. Jyn didn't know much about this area, but she knew that there used to be a Partisan cell somewhere nearby, and she could talk to them. There was a chance they were all dead now, or they would shoot her on the spot, but if there was anyone who would know anything about the dirty dealings of the Imperial Elite Club, it was the Partisans. They probably even have several plans to hit the thing and might even know a good way in that Cassian didn't know about.

Jyn also knew that Cassian wouldn't like this plan because the last time he saw the Partisans, they locked him in a cell and scrambled Bodhi's mind. Jyn didn't approve of any of that either, but they didn't have time to play coy with their allies anymore. They weren't the Alliance, and they couldn't afford to be picky when it came to the people they went to for information. If the intel was good, that was all that mattered in the end. So she didn't tell him where she was going. Instead, Jyn picked out a bar near where she thought the Partisan base was located and said she would do some drinking and talking to the low lives in the area to see if anyone knew anything. She said if anyone could blend into that crowd, it would be her.

"This is true," Baze said. "I have a few contacts here that I know from previous jobs that I would like to speak to. They might have some information that can help us get a better idea of what's going on here these days."

"I'll hang around the port," Bodhi said. "There is a bar nearby, and you need to know the lingo to talk to pilots. I can talk to them and get them to talk to me. I know what to say, and maybe they can get me something."

"I will wander," Chirrut said with a serene smile. "You would be surprised what people say to a blind man who is walking around and looking a little confused. You are ignored at worst, and people come to help you while telling you their life story at best."

"I have an old contact here as well I'll reach out to," Cassian said. "I want everyone to make sure that they stay safe, and if you aren't here by 2300 hours tonight, I'm going to assume something terrible has happened, and you need help. If you're going to be later than that, then send a coded message to Kay, and he'll make sure it gets to me. No one take any stupid risks, and no bar fights no matter what kind of insulting thing they say."

"I would never do such a thing," Jyn said, which was a lie, and they all knew it. Cassian rolled his eyes, and they all went off in their separate directions. Jyn didn't like Kafrene, it made her nervous, and all the beings here were nervous too, and nervous beings that were armed tended to lead to trouble. She managed to pick her way through the crowd fairly quickly and made her way toward the small Partisan base. Jyn stood outside the door where she knew the camera would be and waited to see if anyone was going to shoot her in the head. The door opened, and someone she didn't recognize stuck their head out.

"You don't belong here anymore," she said. She looked like she was mostly human but young, even younger than Jyn, and she looked afraid.

"I'm just here for information on the Imperial Club, and I wanted to see if we could do some sort of friendly exchange," Jyn said with her hands in the air. "I'm not with the Alliance anymore."

"Then what are you?" she asked.

"I'm just me, me, and my team," Jyn said. "So, can we talk?" The girl hesitated and turned around. Jyn could hear her talking to a few different voices, and eventually, the door opened. She didn't think they were going to kill her, but she put a hand on her blaster nevertheless. There were only half a dozen people in the room, and some of them appeared to be seriously injured.

"We had survivors from Jedha," the girl said. "I'm Maree, and you're going to want to talk to Koobis Soammu. He's the one who is leading us for now." Jyn nodded and walked through the small home. There was a Rodian sitting at a table, fixing a blaster, and there was a cloth wrapped around his head. He looked familiar, which meant he could have been on Jedha and Jyn nodded toward him as she took a seat.

"Jyn Erso," Koobis said. "You were with Saw when that weapon attacked. We haven't heard from him, do you know if he escaped?"

"He didn't," Jyn said carefully. "I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Maree says you're looking to hit the club that the Imperials like to go to. They have tight security there, so you don't stand any chance of getting in," Koobis said. "What I can tell you is that someone was killed there several years ago, and that just made them more paranoid. So if you're looking to get in to rob someone or get information, you aren't going to have much luck."

"What if we were looking to take care of someone in a more permanent capacity like that previous job," Jyn said carefully. "Do you have any information about that?" Koobis stared at her and didn't say anything for a long time but eventually handed her a disc with some information that might be able to help Baze and Cassian find a good location. It was more than she hoped for when she came here, and Jyn thanked Koobis as he walked her out. She thought she would spend the rest of the day in the bar trying to find more information.

"I am glad you said you are no longer with the Alliance," Koobis said as he walked her out the door.

"Why do you say that?" Jyn asked.

"The last time a Partisan was on Kafrene to talk to a member of the Alliance, he lost his life to a blaster bolt in the back," Koobis said and shook his head. "You can't trust them, and you never should." Jyn walks out of the base, and the door slams and locks behind her. She knew Cassian had been to Kafrene before, but he didn't mention how many times. She thought about the contact they were looking for when they got to Jedha.

Jyn thought about the secrets Cassian had yet to tell her and the blood on his hands.

She couldn't think about that right now. Jyn had to focus on getting more information from the bar. It was a long time until they were due back at the safehouse, and maybe she could get something else that could get them off of this planet sooner.

+++

Jyn did not get the chance to ask Cassian what was going on when it came to the Partisan that died on Kafrene. The entire time that she was at the bar, she thought about it and tried to convince herself that it wasn't him that Cassian didn't shoot a man in the back, but Jyn remembered all the things they shared when she was repeating the Scarif mission. Cassian had a lot of blood on his hands, and a decent portion of it was blood that he was ashamed of. Maybe this was one of those deaths that haunted him and wouldn't let him go. Jyn didn't know if she wanted it to be or not. In some ways, she did; it meant that Cassian was the kind of man that had a conscience beneath his cold exterior. Yet, at the same time, she also watched him rationalize a lot of things in their short time together. She knew he could be ruthless when he wanted to be, and maybe there was more to the story than what she knew.

She thought about it as she went back to the safehouse, and they all began to compile their data. When Jyn handed over the plans, she got from Koobis Cassian wanted to ask where she got those from but did not in front of everyone. They were sharing a room tonight, and she had a feeling that it was going to come up in a bad way. Jyn didn't want to fight with him, not when they were on a mission, but it was looking pretty likely that she was.

"This is the spot," Baze said as he pointed to a roof access that was far away from the club but did appear to have decent sightlines.

"This one is closer," Cassian said as he pointed to a window in a building that Cassian seemed to think could be broken into. "The closer we are, the better shot we're going to get. If we miss, we aren't going to get another chance, so we can't miss."

"I don't miss," Baze said, and when he smiled, Jyn could see why so many people hired Baze as an assassin; he was terrifying. Cassian, however, stared him down like he wasn't someone who looked like he could break Cassian in two.

"Sure you don't, neither do I, but that doesn't change the fact that we should be closer," Cassian said as he frowned and looked at the two locations. "How long do you think our scandocs will hold up, Bodhi?"

"Three maybe four days at the most," Bodhi replied.

"Then we have time to look at both locations," Cassian said. "We'll scout them both over the next two days. Admiral Obdris is coming in tomorrow, but he isn't scheduled to leave for a week, and his planner says he's going to be at the club for the entire duration of the stay."

"Do we know what goes on in this club?" Jyn asked.

"The kind where Imperial men can have sex with women of different races and know that other Imperial men aren't going to tell anyone about it," Chirrut said. "At least that is what the locals think the lower floors do. They think there is a brothel down there while the upper levels of the club, the ones we can see, are just there, so no one calls security."

"It's always slavery," Jyn muttered. She wished they could get in there and get those girls out, but all she learned today was that ever since Cassian's job, it was indeed impossible to get in the doors. Maybe she could slice an identity good enough to fool the scanners, but that would take days that they didn't have. They would have to leave as soon as Obdris is dead. Jyn mentally marked this place down as somewhere they should try to come back to at another date. Maybe they could figure out a way to liberate the girls.

They all went to sleep for the night, and after Cassian checked in with Kay and muttered some code that Jyn didn't recognize, did he turn to her and fix her with that stare that Cassian sometimes got when he was about to interrogate someone. Jyn hated when he turned that expression on her.

"I hate when you look at me like that," she said as she pulled off her boots and tossed them aside.

"Like what exactly," Cassian said, and he also started to get undressed for the night.

"Like I'm a mark you're trying to get information out of. You know you could just ask instead of trying to pry it out of me. That is something that people who are fucking do; talk to each other," Jyn said. Cassian blinked and stared at her for a moment.

"All right then, where did you get the data?" he asked.

"There is a Partisan base near the bar I went to. I wanted to see if there were any survivors and if there was anyone who might know something about the club. It sounded like something a local group would have targeted, and this is a place Jedha survivors could have fled to if they got away," Jyn explained, and she paused. "I did see a few of them, and they gave me this information. They also told me there was no way we could get in the building because ever since someone died, the security has been increased."

"I would have told you that going to the Partisans was a bad idea considering the last time they nearly killed Bodhi and us, but you wouldn't have listened anyway," Cassian said, but he was still staring at her. "That isn't all. You're still hiding something me; I can tell. You told me if I asked you would tell me and you didn't, so what is it?"

"They told me they were glad to hear I wasn't with the Alliance anymore because the last time a Partisan talked to someone from the Alliance on Kafrene they ended up with a blaster bolt in their back," Jyn said and she looked at him. "Did you do it? Did you shoot him in the back?"

"Yes," Cassian said without hesitating. "There were troopers, and he was injured. He wouldn't have gotten away, they would have captured him, and whatever they did to him would have been much worse. I won't say what I did was out of kindness, but it was the kinder way for him to die." Jyn didn't know what to say to that, so she didn't say anything. Neither of them said anything when they went to bed that night, but she didn't pull away when Cassian put an arm on her waist.

+++

They didn't talk about the Partisan that Cassian had killed the next day. In fact, they didn't talk about much of anything aside from the mission. It appeared that whatever was going on between them was tabled until this was done. Jyn didn't like leaving it like that, but she also knew that they needed to focus on this job. Mostly because for the next two days, Baze and Cassian both refused to agree which of the locations was better, and by the end of the second, Jyn was ready to crack both of their heads together. They were running out of time, and they didn't need the Empire figuring out that their scandocs weren't up to code. That would be an embarrassing way to get caught. She was sitting on the couch watching Baze and Cassian argue with Chirrut meditating on the floor nearby and Bodhi's head in her lap as he slept.

"Balance," Chirrut said.

"Yeah, balance," Jyn said, and they both turned to look at her. "You both keep saying how we can't miss, so why don't you each take a position? If one misses, the one other would be a prime location to get the shot in the chaos." The two men looked at each other, shrugged, and just like that, the Rogue One team decided the best way to handle this mission was two snipers. She still didn't like it, and Chirrut took her hand the same way he did right before Scarif. It made her nervous because, as far as she could tell, she had broken that cycle. If someone died here, there was no getting them back, and she didn't know how to handle that. Jyn thought after watching her teammates die so many times during the Scarif mission, she'd be used to it, but the thought of it happening just made her sicker than ever.

Chirrut, Bodhi, and Jyn took up their positions in various places around Kafrene, where they could keep an eye on troop movements in case someone went for Baze or Cassian. She couldn't see the club from where she was, but Jyn had walked by several times. There was always the same high-class music playing like they could somehow cover the terrible things that were likely happening to those girls in the basement by men like Obdris. Maybe killing him wasn't such a bad idea, after all, even if this mission still felt like a bad idea.

"In position," Baze said. "Weapons hot."

"In position," Cassian said. "Weapons hot."

"In position," the rest of them echoed, and now it became a waiting game. That was the thing about sniper missions, or so Baze told her, it was a lot of waiting. They had to wait for the perfect moment, and Obdris needed to be in the right place. There was no telling how long that would take. All of her surveillance said to her that Obdris was a man that liked to stay in the upper levels of the club until late into the night and then go to the lower levels when no one was looking. He was married, according to Cassian's intel, and he was ashamed that he was going to a brothel.

At least that is what Cassian could tell by watching the way he moved around the building. After three days, Cassian told her today; the guilt was really starting to catch up with him. He was going to try and avoid going downstairs for as long as he could. This was a good thing; it meant that they would have more clean shots. She knew that the upper levels were glass, and it was just a matter of waiting, but that didn't make the hours go by any faster.

"There is troop movement on the docks," Kay said. "It appears they are going to start double-checking scandocs within the hour. You need to get back to the ship."

"I can get the shot," Baze said, but he was further away. It would take him longer to make his way back to the ship in a way that didn't draw a ton of attention.

"We need to abort," Cassian said.

"I said I can get the shot," Baze snapped.

"And I said we need to abort." There was a long silence over the comms, and Jyn held her breath. She wanted Baze to say that he would come and maybe they could try again another time. She all but begged the Force to tell Baze to let this go so he could get back to Rogue safely.

"Fine, I will come back to the ship," Baze said, and his voice was so strained that it broke Jyn's heart a little. She was relieved, though, and she kept watch on troop movements to see if anyone noticed them. It seemed they were still in the clear for now, but she was still nervous. Jyn had every reason to be nervous when she saw troop movements heading straight for Baze's location.

"I have troop movement heading straight for Baze," Jyn said.

"Not for long," Cassian said. Jyn watched the troops suddenly stop and turn the other direction. "Everyone needs to move to Rogue as fast as possible. Do not stop for anything, and that is an order."

"Cassian, what did you do?" Bodhi asked, and they all sounded a little breathless.

"I gave them something else to focus on," he said, which was not an answer. Jyn moved through the crowds and could hear people talking. Someone mentioned that an Imperial Admiral was dead, and Jyn realized that Cassian had purposely diverted attention away from Baze to his location. She swore and wanted to turn around, but Cassian was good, he could get away, and if he didn't, she would turn around to get him.

Bodhi was waiting on the ship by the time she got to Rogue, and Chirrut and Baze climbed on not long after. The port was beginning to lockdown, and they needed to go, but there was no sign of Cassian.

"Where are you?" Jyn asked.

"Kay, implement order number 317B2C4," Cassian said, which was not an answer. She could hear blaster fire around him, and he needed help. Jyn picked up her blaster and got up intending to go after him.

"Cassian, I need the confirmation code, and are you sure?" Kay said.

"I'm sure, confirmation code is A6V52," Cassian said.

"What the hell is going on?" Bodhi demanded, and Jyn was about to get off of the ship when the bay doors suddenly closed. The engines were starting up, and they were getting ready to take off, but Cassian wasn't here. Jyn ran into the cockpit to see Kay piloting the ship and easily keeping Bodhi away from the controls.

"What are you doing? He's not here; we have to go back for him!" Jyn screamed.

"That is the code Cassian gave me when I am to take off without him, and I am not to ask why. That is the code that means capture is imminent, and that is not anything he can do about it," Kay replied. "I knew this mission was a bad idea, and I told you it was."

"I know you did," Cassian said over the comms, and it sounded like he was still running. "Now, get them out of here."

"You drew them away from me," Baze said. "And you killed him."

"Yes," Cassian said, and he sounded remarkably calm as his team was abandoning him. Jyn couldn't believe they were doing this, but anytime she tried to get near the controls, Kay easily pushed her back. "I hope you both sleep better at night, my friends." They are going to be out of comm range any second now, and Jyn doesn't know what to say. There is too much to say, and Jyn has lost all of her words.

"Cassian--"

"You're the captain now, Jyn," Cassian said, and he wasn't running anymore. Whatever else he was going to say was lost at the sound of Cassian hitting the ground hard. Jyn heard a hunt of man, a trooper mention a comm, and then a smash. The line went dead as Kay pulled Rogue away from the Ring of Kafrene.

+++

Eight hours later and Jyn didn't know what to do. Cassian had left the ship in her hands, but she didn't want to be the captain. She wanted him to be here, to be the captain, and she wanted him back. They were all sitting in dead silence in the middle of the galley because no one seemed to know what to say. Kay stood silently, and Jyn wanted to be angry with him, but it wasn't his fault. It wasn't even Cassian's fault, really. The troopers were either going to get Cassian or Baze judging by their movements, and Cassian made the call that it was going to be him.

There was the sound of a communication coming through, which didn't make any sense. The only line they had access to was the mainline for the Alliance, and no one ever used that line. It was a line that only got used when someone wanted to negotiate. Jyn felt a surge of hope; Cassian could be bargained for. Maybe if the Alliance had some prisoners of war, they could release in exchange for Cassian. She pulled up the comm, and she could see both sides of the communication. On one side stood three Imperial high ranking soldiers, and on the other stood Mon Mothma and Princess Leia.

"Mon Mothma, we caught one of your spies earlier today," one of the Admirals said, and he nodded. The image pivoted to Cassian, on his knees, with blood on his face and his wrists held tightly with binders. "We'd love to talk about how we're going to handle why you sent someone to assassinate one of my men."

"We could, Admiral if I knew who that man was," Mon Mothma said with practice ease, and Jyn felt her blood run cold.

"What the fuck is she doing?" Bodhi said, and Jyn heard Kay shift but didn't say anything.

"You deny that this is one of your men?" the Imperial Admiral asked with a raised eyebrow. "You know what the punishment is for a crime like this."

"I cannot be held responsible for the actions of a man not under my military control," Mothma said as she denied who Cassian was again, and in the background, Leia looked a little green but didn't say anything. Other people in the room were standing there who knew who Cassian was and what he did, and they were letting Mothma deny who he was.

"Very well, then. I suppose we have nothing to discuss then," the Admiral said.

"No, this time we do not," Mothma replied, and both of the lines ended. The four of them stood gobsmacked in the middle of Rogue, unable to say anything.

"I knew we were on our own," Jyn whispered. "But I never imagined the Alliance would deny our existence if the worst would happen."

"They were always going to," Kay said. "That is the price we have to pay by no longer being in the Alliance and what Cassian knew would happen if he got captured."

"What are we going to do, little sister?" Baze asked and Jyn could feel all eyes on her. She stood up a little straighter and set her jaw.

"We're going to get him back on our own."

Jyn didn't have a lot of experience when it came to staging rescues. When she was with the Partisans, they usually tried not to get taken alive, and when someone was taken alive, they were abandoned. She didn't think much of it for most of her time with them but by the time Saw abandoned her, Jyn had nightmares about the comrades she left to die over the years. When she was on her own, she got even less experience rescuing people because even if she did team up with a group for a short amount of time, no one was close enough to stage a rescue. It was every man for himself, and she never even thought that she could care enough about those people to want to rescue them.

When the Force gave her the chance to relive the battle of Scarif, and as time went on, Jyn became more and more convinced that it was the Force that let her keep trying until she got it right, that wasn't really a rescue mission. That was Jyn reliving the same mission over and over again until she could see it from every possible angle so she could save as many people as possible. This wasn't that. This was her team against the Empire with no second chances. If they didn't get Cassian out soon, he would be dead, and there wasn't going to be any waking up to try again; she would just lose him, and that wasn't an option.

Jyn's first instinct was to run back to Kafrene as fast as possible, but without the right clearance, they didn't stand a chance. They needed better papers to even get back on the Ring on, and those papers would take time. Then there was the chance that Cassian could be transferred at any time, and if that were the case, he would be lost within the prison system of the Empire for who knows how long. Cassian wouldn't give them his real name, and they wouldn't be able to find him. He would just become another man at another prison camp, and that was the best scenario. A worst-case scenario was Cassian getting shipped off to someone like Darth Vader, who would tear apart Cassian's mind until there wasn't anything left. They didn't have a lot of time, and they needed to act quickly, but just getting close was going to take time that they didn't have.

She was in the middle of a breakdown in the room she shared with Cassian when the comm from the Alliance rang. Jyn blinked and watched as it rang. She couldn't even begin to think about why they would be calling her right now, and she didn't want anything to do with them. Yet if there was anyone who could get her the clearance to get on the Ring quickly, it would be them so she should answer. Jyn reached forward and pushed the button and was surprised when Draven's face appeared in front of her.

"Erso," he said.

"Draven," she replied.

"I see you have something of a problem," he said, and Jyn hated him so much at that moment, but screaming and yelling weren't going to help Cassian right now. Mentally, Jyn added another punch to the tally that she was going to give Draven the next time she saw him in person.

"You could say that," Jyn said. "I saw the way you denied him, is that how you're going to treat all of your war heroes who aren't clean and perfect once you win this fight?"

"Erso, I told you that you wouldn't have any support, what exactly did you think that would mean?" Draven asked, and Jyn was surprised at how tired he sounded. For the first time, Jyn could see the toll that the war was taking on Draven. He seemed to age years every single time she saw his face no matter how much time passed. "I've known Cassian since he was a boy, and I don't want him to die in the hands of the Empire; not like that. He deserves better than to go out in a cell like that. That boy deserves to go out fighting." Jyn wanted to say that Cassian deserved to live, but that wasn't the point.

"I need to get back onto the Ring of Kafrene as fast as possible, but I don't have the clearance," Jyn said. "I know you can't offer me much, but if you can get me that, it would help a lot."

"I'll send over a new ship ID within the next three hours," Draven said. "And that's all I can offer you, Erso. I know you hated watching us deny him, I can assure you that we all hated doing it too, but there isn't anything we can do about it now. Right now, I want you to go and get him back. Force knows that the crew won't survive you as their Captain." It was about as close to a joke as Draven was going to get, and she didn't ask how he knew that Cassian made her the Captain. It was such a surprising thing for Draven to say that it startled a laugh out of Jyn, and she smiled for the first time in what felt like days.

"Thank you, Draven, maybe I won't punch you the next time I see you," Jyn said. Draven looked a little surprised that she said that and then very amused.

"I've always appreciated your honesty if nothing else, Erso," Draven replied and killed the connection. Jyn stood up and walked out to the rest of the team.

"Draven called, and he's getting us papers that will get us back on the Ring of Kafrene in the next couple of hours, but we need some sort of plan if we're going to get him back," Jyn said.

"We don't have the resources to stage a massive prison breakout," Baze said. "Maybe if we had some help with the Alliance, we could pull it off, but without them, we don't have any chance."

"There has to be something we can do," Bodhi said as he paced around the ship. "They probably haven't transferred him yet, and the crime is going to be capital punishment. It's just a matter of how they are going to kill him and how public they are going to make it."

"We need people who know the Ring of Kafrene and that base extremely well," Chirrut said, and Jyn had an idea.

"Kay, I need you to find a way to connect me to a local Partisan group that is on Kafrene. If anyone knows how people tend to be killed in the base, they would, and if anyone has any information about the base, it would be them," Jyn said. Kay stared at her in that weird way that droids would stare, and she wondered if he was going to listen to her. Cassian made her the Captain, but that didn't mean that Kay was ever going to listen to her.

"I need a location, so I can try and find their signal," Kay said. Jyn pulled up a map of Kafrene and showed Kay exactly where the base was located. The droid sat down and began to go through the many different signals that were coming in and out of Kafrene. There wasn't much they could do right now but wait. Chirrut insisted that they all get something to eat, and Bodhi made them some dinner. She couldn't remember the last time she had food or water, and by the time the food was sitting in front of her, Jyn thought she was going to pass out from lack of nutrition. The new papers from Draven came in, and she chewed on the tip of her thumb as she waited to see if Kay could get in touch with Koobis and the other Partisans.

"I found them," Kay said almost five full hours later. Jyn scrambled over to the comms just in time to see a very displeased looking Koobis appear on screen.

"Jyn Erso, how did you find this signal?" he asked.

"I had a droid looking for you specifically for the last five hours," Jyn explained.

"Well, stop looking. Whatever you and your team did has sent the entire Ring into chaos. We are probably going to have to abandon this base because they are going to find us. They think there are more rebels out there hiding," Koobis snapped. "You really mucked this whole thing up."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Jyn said, and she was, but there wasn't time to get into this. "I need everything you have on the base, and I need to know what they do with prisoners on the base. It's a club, but it's got a holding center too, and that's where they are keeping a member of my team. I want to get him out, and I can't do that without information. The only one who has that information is you. Please, I need to get him back, we need him." Koobis stared at her, and she felt like she was being read again like she was with Draven, but she didn't really care what he thought of her. If they thought she was incompetent, let them; if it saved Cassian's life, Jyn would tank her own reputation in a heartbeat.

"No one leaves the holding center," Koobis said. "They don't bother with transfers here; it's too much work. Your friend is going to leave that holding center, but he's doing it in a body bag. They will kill him in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours and dump his body in a compactor. It's what they've done to every single member of our team that they have caught and every single person they have arrested over the years. No one leaves; no one is saved; they all just die. Now, it would be in your best interest to stay the fuck away from the Ring of Kafrene unless you want to join your friend. Stay away from the Ring and from my team. The next time you try to reach out to me, Jyn Erso, I will see it as an enemy trying to expose us, and I will treat you like an enemy. Leave us alone, forget about your friend because he's already dead, and get as far away from here as possible." Koobis ended the transmission and released a slow breath.

"What a charming asshole," Baze said after a beat of silence. "What are we going to do now? It sounds like there isn't a way in."

"He said the only way people leave is in a body bag," Bodhi said as he paced back and forth. "So, then maybe Cassian needs to leave in a body bag. Jyn, you're a slicer, do you think you could forge an identity as someone who gives lethal injections?"

"You want to mercy kill him?" she asked.

"No, of course not," Bodhi replied with a wave of his hand. "We can give him something that just makes it look like he died, and then once the Empire is convinced he's gone, we get the body out of the base. They won't try to stop someone from dumping the body of someone that's already dead."

"If they try to say that he needs to be transferred, we can lie and say that these rebels are starting to put things in their bodies that could kill the people around them. Bombs in their teeth or something, the Empire is dumb enough that they would believe it, and the only way to fix the problem is to kill Cassian on the spot," Jyn said as she thought about it. "It might work, but there isn't any way they're going to let all of us through. It would be a one, maybe two-person job at the most."

"I will go with you," Kay said. "They will believe you are part of the Empire if you have a security droid looking out for you."

"They have all of our faces," Chirrut said. "You might not get through the door."

"I have to try. I can't just leave him in that place to die," Jyn replied. "Cassian deserves to live after everything that he's sacrificed. He deserves better; we all do."

"Then we should get to work," Baze said. "We don't have long, and we need to get to the Captain sooner rather than later. We don't know how much longer they are going to hold him."

+++

Jyn spent the rest of the evening slicing an identity for herself. She was a little out of practice, but this was something she mastered a long time and a skill that she hadn't lost in the time she was away from the Partisans or with the Alliance. All she needed to do was make sure that they didn't look too closely at her while she was there. The ID didn't need to hold up long term because once they got away, they were going to be fugitives regardless. It was just a matter of getting away so they could all recover right now.

Baze forced her to sit down and used some scissors to take several inches off of her hair and even it out a little. It was just long enough to pull back now, but keeping it down was a good idea. They managed to find some dye hidden, and Jyn's brown hair was now jet black. There were a pair of eyeglasses hidden in Cassian's room that he no doubt used when he was spying that she stole. The clothes were a little harder, but the new papers let them land on Kafrene with no problems. Bodhi went out and got her a nice skirt and blazer with a pair of practical shoes. Jyn couldn't remember the last time she put on make-up, but she darkened her eyes and put on bright red lipstick. When she looked in the mirror, she didn't recognize herself.

The new picture was added to her new ID as Dr. Zena Felis. She was listed as a doctor, but she had the credentials of someone that you called in when you wanted someone killed. Now, they just needed to find the right drug. Jyn couldn't go out and look, but Kay did the research and told Baze and Chirrut what to find. They went off looking as Jyn finished slicing her new ID and putting on her new clothes. It was almost twelve hours after Cassian was captured that Baze and Chirrut returned with the drug.

"What is this stuff going to do exactly?" Jyn asked as she looked at the syringe in her hands. The liquid inside was clear, but it still looked lethal and made her nervous.

"It will slow Cassian's heartbeat to almost nothing, and he will stop breathing for approximately three minutes," Kay explained. "After the three minutes is up, he will breathe but only enough to keep himself alive, but that is a lot harder to hide. He will look dead for those three minutes, and we need to get him into a body bag before they notice that he isn't dead."

"If they notice he isn't dead, they'll say we need to give him another dose, or they'll arrest us," Jyn said as she put the drugs in the small bag that she was going to carry on her shoulder. She put her shoulders back and released a slow breath. This shouldn't be a long operation, and if they were going to fail, it wasn't going to take long.

"If you aren't back in five hours, what should we do?" Bodhi asked.

"Leave," Jyn said. "Leave and don't come back. Go off and find some other way to help but don't come back here. Maybe not ever." Baze, Chirrut, and Bodhi didn't look happy about that, but they nodded. Jyn glanced at Kay, and the two of them walked out of the ship and onto the Ring of Kafrene. There were plenty of people that looked like they wanted to rob her, but having Kay so close helped keep everyone away. He didn't say anything to help, and she noticed that he changed the way he walked when he was undercover. The club came into view and the holding center where Cassian should be was behind the building. She just hoped they hadn't moved him yet. There were two troopers at the door, and they stopped her.

"Who are you?" they asked.

"I'm Dr. Zena Felis, and I was asked to come here and take care of someone you have in holding," Jyn said. She made her accent even posher and stood a little taller. She handed her new ID badge to the troopers, and they began to check it. Jyn held her breath and waited to see if they were going to pass or not. She could feel Kay moving behind her, and she wondered what he was going to do if they got caught here. She wondered if he was going to make a break for it or if he was going to leave her where she stood.

"It says here we have one prisoner, but they want to transfer him not eliminate him," the trooper said, and he sounded a little nervous now.

"I need to speak with your superior. I believe it is in your best interest to let me deal with this prisoner now," Jyn said. The troopers nodded, and one of them let her into the building. They didn't take her up to the club or down to the lower level where she knew the brothels were, but a high ranking Imperial official came out and shook her hand.

"Doctor, I apologize for the mixup, but we're going to hang onto this one for some time. We believe he might have some interesting information that Lord Vader might be able to get out of him," the officer said.

"That is a bad idea, sir," Jyn said with a raised eyebrow. "These rebels are implanting bombs and poisons on and in their bodies. These are devices that we wouldn't be able to find. For all you know, he's going to end up in a room with Lord Vader and explode. It would be best to just take care of him now. There isn't any information that scum could have that would be worth it." Jyn pretended to think for a moment and then looked at the officer. It was one of the officers that were standing in the background when they had Cassian. "What did the rebels say when you presented him to them?"

"Oh, nothing, they said he wasn't one of theirs," the officer said and frowned. "You think they would be willing to trade for someone who actually had important information?"

"I've seen this before, and I do not want Lord Vader or someone else to get killed because we didn't take care of this rebel when we had the chance," Jyn said, and she patted her bag. "I have what we need right here, and my droid can help with the disposal. I think it's best if we do this now and not wait. There will be more high ranking members of our great Empire here tonight for the club, yes? And they have already killed one of us; we can't let them get another." The officer nodded and gestured for Jyn to sit down at a small table.

"I will bring up your concerns with my superior and come back with a ruling in a moment," the officer said, and he walked out of the room. Jyn sat down and released a breath. Kay shifted its weight but still didn't say anything to her despite how badly she wanted it to. Jyn wanted some comfort at this moment, and she wished she was anywhere else. It didn't take long for the Admiral that held Cassian during the comm with the Alliance to come out with the officer.

"Doctor, you believe this man is a threat?" he asked.

"I think no rebel the Alliance isn't willing to trade for is worth the risk," Jyn said as she stood up. The Admiral stared at her for what felt like a long time and eventually nodded.

"Very well, let's take care of this now," he said, and he gestured to some troopers. Jyn followed him to a small room where they let put on gloves and a mask that covered her nose and mouth. Kay waited in a corner and didn't say a word. Jyn knew that Cassian wasn't going to be able to recognize her with the hair, the glasses, and the make-up, so she was about to witness Cassian when he thought he was going to die.

Two troopers walked Cassian into the room, and her heart broke a little when she realized that he wasn't even fighting. He just let them strap him down to the table without a word, and it wasn't so much that he looked like he gave up as much as Cassian had accepted that this was the end. The Admiral sneered and seemed angry that he wasn't reacting.

"Not going to beg for your life, rebel scum?" he said.

"No, I have nothing to say," Cassian replied, and he stared at the ceiling with a blank expression on his face. Jyn wanted to say something to him, but she couldn't, there were too many witnesses, so all she could do was roll the sleeve up on his shirt so she could get to the vein on his arm. Kay explained to her how to do this, but Jyn was worried she would mess it up and be responsible for Cassian dying. The other people in the room hooked up a machine, and Cassian's vitals appeared on a screen. Jyn glanced at Kay and then down at Cassian, who didn't even look at her. He waited quietly to die, and she hated this so much. Jyn put the needle in his arm and pushed the drugs into his system.

The reaction didn't take long; his vitals began to drop within a minute, and before long, Jyn had to watch as the heartbeat line went flat. She pressed her fingers to his pulse and could feel the very slow heartbeat beneath her fingers. He was still alive, but the machines said he was dead. Jyn turned to the Admiral and pulled off her mask.

"It's done," she said.

"Get that trash out of here," the Admiral snapped. Jyn nodded, and Kay began to move. He pulled out a body bag, and between the two of them, they moved his body into the bag. Jyn left the very top of the bag open, so when Cassian started breathing again in a few minutes, he could get air. Kay threw Cassian's body over its shoulder, and they began to make their way through the building. Jyn couldn't relax, but she felt like they were making progress. "Doctor," the Admiral said when they were mere steps away from the door. "Be careful with that body. That man was too calm; I've never seen a rebel so ready to die. He must have one of those bombs, so you get rid of that body immediately."

"Yes, sir," Jyn replied. She nodded to Kay, and they walked out of the building. The dump where they were supposed to throw Cassian's body was on the way to the port, so the troopers watched them go in the right direction. Once they were well and truly out of sight, they ducked into a dark alley, and Kay pulled Cassian from the bag. He was pale, and he looked half-dead, but she could see him breathing. Jyn checked his pulse, and it was still there. Kay took Cassian into his arms and carried him the rest of the way toward the ship. Jyn held her breath and prayed to the Force that no one would stop them. A few troopers glanced their way, but no one stopped them, no one tried to ask what was going on, and by the time Jyn walked onto Rogue she thought her heart was going to burst.

"Go!" Baze called out. The bay doors closed, and Bodhi was taking off before anyone was even sitting down. Jyn nearly fell into the wall, but she didn't care. She followed Kay into the room she shared with Cassian and watched as he was laid down.

"How long will he sleep?" she whispered.

"We had to give him a strong dose, or we risked the machines picking up on his heartbeat so he could sleep for a week," Kay replied. "I will find fluids and food that we can hook him up to." Kay walked out of the room, but Jyn wasn't really paying attention. She took Cassian's cool hand into hers and kissed his palm. She just wanted him to wake up.

+++

Cassian slept for ten days. His pulse and breathing returned to normal before they were even away from the Ring of Kafrene, but he still didn't wake up, and by the time they got back to Ajan Kloss, Jyn was trying not to show how worried she was. They stopped by a hospital and picked up some fluids and nutrients that they hooked him up to as he slept. She watched him constantly and wondered if he was ever going to wake up again. Jyn wondered if she had killed him and if she was going to have to live with that.

It was on day ten that Jyn watched Cassian stir for the first time, and when he opened his eyes, she nearly cried.

"You're not dead," Jyn said because she could tell that he was confused. "That was Kay and me in that room, we got you out with a drug that made it look like you died, but you're okay. You're okay."

"Thank you," Cassian whispered, and it sounded like it took a lot of effort. Jyn wasn't sure how they all ended up hugging each other, but here they were. She didn't think she would ever be the kind of person would be in this kind of group hug, but she was barely holding herself together, and feeling her team around her helped.

"You're out, Captain," Chirrut said. "We couldn't leave you behind."

"Little Sister would just get us killed," Baze mumbled, and they all let out painful laughs. Cassian was smiling weakly, and Jyn knew he still had some time before he was going to be himself again, but he was alive and looking at all of them.

"If you ever do something like that again, I'm tossing you out of the airlock," Bodhi threatened, but it was empty, and they all knew it. Jyn climbed into the bed and wrapped her arms around him as everyone remained close. He was safe, they were safe, and that was all that mattered.

It took some time for Cassian to recover from the drugs in his system entirely, but Jyn was okay with that. She didn't care how long it took because it was nothing short of a miracle that he survived at all, and that was enough for her. Baze, Chirrut, and Bodhi seemed keen to stay on Ajan Kloss for as long as they needed to, but they were going to run out of supplies eventually. Fortunately, they had a clean ship identity chip and plenty of credits. So when food and everything started to get a little low, they could go out to a neighboring planet, and it would be fine. Jyn was glad for that, but she also knew that Cassian wanted to go with them. He spent a lot of time on top of the rock formation alone, and it didn't matter that he nearly broke his own neck climbing down because he ran out of energy. That was where he wanted to be.

Jyn was worried, but she also didn't know how to address something like this. She knew what it was like to die over and over again, she remembered how she felt that first time on the beach as the wave came toward her and she thought that this was the end, and she also knew how disorientating it was to wake up the next day and everything was fine. At the same time, though, she was able to brush it off as a dream, so it helped a little, but that didn't stop that feeling in her gut that this was it. This was the end of her life, and nothing else would happen after this moment. Jyn assumed that Cassian felt the same way, but she didn't know how to talk to him about it without revealing how she repeated the Scarif mission over and over again.

The fact that she lived the same day over and over again was something that always weighed heavily on Jyn's mind. It was such an insane thing that she didn't know how anyone would possibly believe her, but not talking about it was driving her a little crazy too. So she chewed on her thumbnail and watched as Cassian walked around in a daze that he couldn't shake himself out of. She knew that he was feeling so many things, but she also knew that Cassian wasn't one to talk about that. It was weakness, and Cassian didn't like to show weakness even to the Rogue One crew.

Kay walked up to her three weeks after they had rescued Cassian, and she immediately knew that something wasn't right. Kay might be a droid, but it had a way of showing anxiety that Jyn couldn't put into words. There was something about the way it moved that radiated a problem, and she was afraid to hear what Kay had to say.

"Cassian is not carrying any weapons or lullaby pills," Kay said, and Jyn went cold all over. Cassian was always armed, and the fact that he was walking around Ajan Kloss unarmed, a place they considered home and safe, was worrying.

"Do you know why?" Jyn asked, even though she knew the answer.

"I do not believe he trusts himself with them," Kay said. "Cassian thought he was dying, and now he's alive. He is not coping well, Jyn Erso, and we cannot go out on missions until he is better."

"What do you think will happen if we go on a mission?" Jyn whispered.

"You saw that Cassian is willing to jump in front of a blaster when he is in the right frame of mind. Imagine the kind of risks he would take if he were in the wrong one," Kay explained. "We have a code when I am supposed to relieve Cassian of his weapons because his stats were giving off too much anxiety. I have done it before, and if he were not already unarmed here, I would have done it again." Their little home was empty safe for Kay, Jyn, and Cassian since Bodhi, Chirrut, and Baze were off getting some supplies. They had money now, but it wouldn't last forever. Jyn nodded and walked out to the rock formation. Cassian was up there, and it was time to talk to him.

Jyn climbed up and saw Cassian sitting near the edge as he stared out over the jungle planet. He wasn't moving, and he didn't even look up when she joined him.

"You thought you were dying," Jyn said after a long moment of silence. "You took that needle in the arm and thought you were going to die. That isn't something that anyone can recover from easily."

"I've faced down death before," Cassian said. "I've taken blaster bolts to the chest and thought I wasn't ever going to wake up. I've faced death before, so why is this any different?"

"Your feelings about death aren't something you can logic your way out of, Cassian, no matter how much you might want to," Jyn said, and she took a deep breath. "Dying in the heat of battle, that's one thing, there is so much going on that it's hard to focus on anything, let alone the fact that your body is slowly shutting down. Staring down death, though, seeing it coming and knowing that there isn't anything you can do about it? That's different."

"You sound like you know what you're talking about," Cassian said, and Jyn thought about staring down that wave of fire and death the first time she did the Scarif mission.

"I do, and I know it's not easy to deal with," she replied. Cassian sighed but didn't say anything for a long time.

"Kay has noticed I'm not armed," he said, and it wasn't a question.

"They are afraid you're going to hurt yourself or do something that will get you killed. I'm inclined to understand why they are worried," Jyn replied, and she moved a little closer to him. "Cassian, are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I just needed a little time," he replied, and he looked at her. "You're helping, all of you are, and knowing that I have a purpose helps a lot." Cassian reached forward and took her hand into his. He entwined their fingers and held on just a little too tight, but Jyn was not about to complain about that. They watched the sun go down, and eventually, she rested her head on his shoulder. "I don't have a lot of regrets, and when I was lying there in that base thinking I was about to die, I really only had one."

"Was it getting discharged from the rebellion?" Jyn asked because she could only assume that was the thing that Cassian would regret.

"No, it was not telling you that I love you," he said, and Jyn felt her heart skip a beat. She knew that she loved Cassian, she had come to love him while she was trying to get Scarif right, but she wasn't sure how he felt. Jyn had come to terms with the fact that Cassian might not ever love her back, and there wasn't anything she could do about it. Now he was sitting here, watching the suns set with her, and confessing in the spot where they first had sex that he loved her. Jyn pulled away from his shoulder and looked at him. Cassian didn't look away from her once, and he didn't shy away from her stare.

"What did you say?" she whispered because she needed to hear this again, or Jyn might go out of her mind.

"I said that I love you, Jyn Erso," Cassian said. "And I know you might not feel the same way about me, and that's fine. I just didn't want any more regrets, so--" Jyn didn't let Cassian finish that sentence because the idea that he thinks she doesn't love him was not going to stand. Jyn practically threw herself at him, and Cassian grunted as she all but tackled him and kissed the breath from his lungs. When she pulled away, Cassian was grinning, laughing, and it lit up his entire face. She hadn't seen that expression on him since before the mission on Kafrene. "Should I take that as you don't mind me loving you?"

"You should take that as you're an idiot if you think I don't love you, too," Jyn replied. Cassian's smile faltered a little, but his eyes softened, and she could see his walls coming down. She smiled so wide that it hurt and let Cassian take her into his arms. Rogue broke through the atmosphere not long after, and they both climbed down from the rocks to help the rest of the team unload the ship. As soon as they were both on solid ground, Cassian took her hand and didn't let go down. The bay doors opened, and Chirrut, Bodhi, and Baze all walked off of the ship. Jyn could hear Kay walking up to join them.

"Oh, good, you two finally got your act together," Bodhi said. "Are congratulations in order? Can I help with the wedding?" Jyn was about to tell Bodhi off when Kay decided to prove that he was the best at ruining all moments ever.

"They finally confessed that they love each other but did not fornicate on the rocks again," Kay said.

"Oh, well, that's good," Chirrut said, and he looked very amused. Jyn sort of wanted to die from the embarrassment and buried her face in Cassian's neck. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

"Show me what kind of supplies you got, and then let's reach out to Draven. I think it's time we took another mission," Cassian said without acknowledging any of their teasings. Jyn was glad for it, but she still accepted the hugs from her teammates, and the knowing look from Kay as Cassian strapped a blaster to his hip the next day.

+++

For two and a half years, things went as well as they could. They got missions from Draven that sent them to all corners of the galaxy for all sorts of things, but they also did their own missions. Jyn insisted they at least look into a way of liberating Wabani, and it turned out to be very possible with their limited resources. She was glad to stand back and watch that place burn after all of the prisoners had escaped. They managed to liberate a settlement or two from the Empire and help transport survivors to safer planets. It was an excellent way to make their way through the universe, and Jyn thought she shouldn't enjoy it as much as she did.

Hera met up with them a few times over the years, and the second time she brought a small child with her. She said his name was Jacen and Jyn got to hold a small child for the first time in her life. Jacen was two the first time she met him, and he was a good kid. She liked being around him, but it wasn't quite enough to change her mind about the idea of having kids. All of the crew fell in love with that kid, though, and anytime they were on a planet and found something that they thought Jacen would like, they bought it. There was an entire trunk of things that they handed off to Hera whenever they would meet up with her for Jacen. She always smiled that warm smile and thanked them for the gifts.

The anniversary of the attack on Jedha was always a tough time for Bodhi, Chirrut, and Baze. Jyn and Cassian learned very quickly that planning a mission the week before or the week after was a bad idea. Chirrut and Baze all but shut themselves in their room and refused to come out for anything other than food. The first-night, Jyn heard Bodhi screaming from a nightmare she woke him up and guided him into the room she shared with Cassian. Bodhi didn't seem to be paying attention to anything they were doing and let them manhandle him in the middle of the bed. Bodhi rolled on his side, and Cassian pressed himself to Bodhi's back. Cassian wrapped his arms around Bodhi and held onto him tightly. Jyn let Bodhi press his face into her neck and hold onto her like she was a lifeline. She woke up to her collar wet with his tears sometimes, and she would spend the night running her fingers through his long hair.

The second anniversary was better than the first, and Bodhi just turned up to their room a week before and stayed every night for two straight weeks. Jyn didn't mind, and she knew that Cassian didn't either. This was their version of taking care of their crew, and they would do anything to keep them safe. Cassian made the meals and left them outside Baze and Chirrut's door, so they didn't have to come out unless they wanted to. Kay took over piloting unless Bodhi really wanted to fly to clear his head. Jyn and Cassian made sure that they were somewhere safe in the universe or on Ajan Kloss so everyone could mourn the way they needed to.

The two and a half years weren't easy, though, and it had been all three years since the mission on Scarif and the Battle of Yavin that finally took her father's weapon out of the sky. Sometimes they didn't have any credits to their name, and the only food they could find were local animals on Ajan Kloss. Sometimes, they barely had enough fuel to get to the next location so they could get paid. Draven met up with them two more times in person, and Jyn resisted the temptation to punch him every single time, but he wasn't ever an asshole to them, which she appreciated. He was just Draven at this point, and Jyn wondered if this was how Cassian came to work for this man despite their morals not always lining up.

They had just finished a mission that wasn't given to them by the Alliance when Cassian decided that it was time to check-in. The last time they talked to Draven, the Alliance was on a planet called Hoth, and they were all freezing their asses off. Whenever Ajan Kloss got warm enough that Jyn had to strip down to a tank top and a pair of Cassian's boxers, she thought about how cold Hoth was and laughed at the Alliance a little. Cassian picked up the comm and hit the button to see what Draven would have for them next. The Empire was a problem, but they hadn't had any major conflicts with them in months, and Jyn was glad for it. Cassian frowned as the comm went unanswered for ten full minutes, which was not like Draven.

"He always answers," Bodhi said as he sat down and looked at the comm. "The longest he's ever gone without replying was five minutes, and even then, he usually replies in code to tell us he needs a minute to reply."

"Something isn't right," Cassian said. "Kay? Check-in with our link up to Imperial movements. Tell me if you see anything that might indicate what's going on. I don't trust this."

"There are a million reasons why he might not be replying, Cassian," Jyn said, but the words sounded hollow to her.

"He is right," Chirrut said. "There is something wrong. I can feel it." That was all the proof that Jyn needed that this wasn't in Cassian's head; Chirrut might not be a Jedi, but he had a connection to the Force that none of them could really understand. Chirrut was a little pale, and he looked like he was in pain. Jyn remembered seeing his face when the Death Star fired on Alderaan. He felt it, and he was feeling something now.

"There are reports of Imperial movement heading toward Hoth," Kay said. That meant that they couldn't just go to the base, or there was a huge risk that they would run into the entire Imperial Navy. Cassian frowned deeply and looked at the comm in his hand as they waited to see if anyone would reply.

Nearly three hours later, the comm came to life. Cassian scrambled to turn it on, but no face appeared; however, the voice at the other end was familiar.

"Captain Andor," Mon Mothma said. "I see this is the device that Draven has been using to contact you. He didn't tell me anything about it."

"What happened?" Cassian asked, bypassing any attempt at small talk.

"I will send you coordinates. Please come to the location as soon as you can," Mon Mothma replied, and the line went dead. Not long after, coordinates for way off beyond the Outer Rim appeared. Cassian nodded to Bodhi, and they began to go through the process of making sure they made enough jumps to confuse anyone that might be tracking them. Jyn chewed on her lower lip and had a terrible feeling about what they were about to find. It took some time, but they managed to find the Alliance warships out in the middle of deep space. They didn't ask who they were, and the clearance codes that Bodhi gave them, the ones that said they were Rogue One, were accepted without a word.

Jyn reached over and squeezed Cassian's hand as they waited for the ship to finish docking. She wanted to get off of the ship with his hand in hers, but she didn't know what they were going to find here. The door hatch opened, and they walked onto the ship. Jyn wasn't sure what she was expecting the first time she was around the Alliance again, but the dirty looks coming from a majority of them was not it. A man spat at her feet, and Cassian bared his teeth.

"Problem?" Cassian asked.

"My family was on Alderaan, you bitch," the man said. "You lot aren't worthy of being part of the Alliance." The man slammed his shoulder into Cassian's as he walked away, and Jyn turned with every intention of punching his lights out. Cassian took her arm and stopped her just as a soldier walked up to them.

"Captain Andor, please come with me," the woman said, and she began to guide them through the ship. More people stared at them, whispering, pointing, and Jyn didn't know what their reputation was among the Alliance, but it was clearly a lot worse than she thought it would be. She didn't know what kind of propaganda the Alliance told about them when they were court-martialed, but whatever it was, it was clear that people who weren't around for the Battle of Scarif thought they were the scum of the universe. A door opened, and Mon Mothma turned to look at them. The soldier saluted and closed the door behind them, so they were alone.

"How bad?" Cassian asked without preamble.

"Very bad, I'm afraid," Mon Mothma said as she sat down, and Jyn could see the way the war was aging her. It reminded her of the way Hera and Draven seemed to age years despite it being only weeks or months since they had seen them. Mon Mothma looked like she'd aged a decade in the three years since they had last seen her. "I want to apologize for the way the people here might treat you."

"We've seen it already," Baze said, and he sounded so angry. "What have you been telling them about us?"

"We have made mistakes, and our handling of Rogue One was likely one of them," Mon Mothma said, which was not an answer. She pulled out the comm from the desk and set it down. "General Draven gave this to a soldier with the explicit instruction that it ends up in my hands only. Then he turned around and stayed behind to make sure that all of our secrets were wiped from the computer on the base on Hoth. If the Empire did not kill him, then Davits took his lullaby to make sure that they did not take him alive." Cassian paled a little, and Jyn didn't know what to think. She didn't know what she felt about Draven, and Jyn still thought, even now knowing that he was dead, that she earned a punch or two. He was dead, and the Alliance appeared to be in pieces.

"Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Leia Organa are all missing," Mon Mothma said carefully. "At the moment, I do not know who will take over the Intelligence department, but it won't be someone who trusts any of you. Whoever it is, they won't want to deal with outliers in the military. Your connection to Draven was a unique one and one that we cannot replicate. I'm afraid that even the minimal work we were providing you with is not something I can do right now. Perhaps Leia will be able to find someone to work with you if she ever returns, but right now, I'm afraid this is where we must go our separate ways permanently."

"We are good at what we do," Jyn said as she clenched her fists. "We are assets, and the only reason you can't find someone to help us because you let our reputations get tarnished and didn't step in to defend us."

"You deserve better, you all do," Mon Mothma said sadly. "But I'm afraid there isn't anything I can do. I'm sorry." Jyn had so much more to say, but Cassian turned and walked out of the room without a word.

"You should be thanking him, thanking all of us, and begging for us to come back. It looks like you could use some soldiers who are willing to do what it takes," Jyn snapped. She walked out of the room and was surprised to see Cassian talking with someone a few steps down the hallway as the rest of the team joined her. He was older, and it looked like he was recovering from a nasty blaster shot, but Jyn would recognize Melshi from anywhere. He grinned and gestured for her to come over. She thought that Cassian would want a moment to talk to his friend alone, but that wasn't the case.

"Hey, Erso, it's good to see you and your crew alive and kicking," Melshi said, and he slapped her on the back. "General Syndulla always makes sure to give me and anyone else who was on Scarif updates about how you lot are anytime she sees you. I sometimes even managed to get some words out of Draven, but it's good to see all of you alive and well."

"You look like you've seen better days," Jyn said, and Melshi laughed.

"Yeah, fucking stormtrooper got me on Hoth, and someone dragged me onto a transport. I probably should be dead, but I figure I'm on borrowed time since Scarif as it is," Melshi said. "There are four of us who were on Scarif on board right now, and we'd love to sit down with you lot. There's a decent caf here, let us get you some food before you have to leave again."

"The last soldiers we saw weren't thrilled to see us," Bodhi said. "Is it going to be a problem?"

"I'm a pathfinder who survived Scarif; even with a blaster hole in my gut, these fucking idiots know better than to mess with me," Melshi replied. Cassian glanced at all of them, and when they all nodded, they followed Melshi into the caf. While some of the soldiers gave them dirty looks, no one approached them. Jyn was pleased to see a few familiar faces that she managed to save from the original Rogue One mission on Scarif. Sometimes, she forgot that she saved more than just her team on that mission.

The food wasn't bad, and she was even glad to catch up with people, but it couldn't last. A captain that Jyn didn't recognize came over and told them that they couldn't stay any longer and needed to go. Melshi and the other bared their teeth, but this captain wasn't afraid.

"Captain," Melshi said as they gathered their things, and Cassian looked up. "No one told us why we weren't court-martialed the way you were, but I can only assume that you went to bat for us. You told them not to. That is the Cassian Andor that I tell the new recruits about. I tell them about Rogue One and how you were all willing to die to get the plans. We'll keep trying to tell them until the Empire finally gets the shot that takes our lives."

"Try to live instead, Melshi, so you can see the end of the war," Cassian said. The other captain escorted them to the ship, but Jyn didn't know if they were ever coming back.

"Wait a moment," Jyn said, and she ran to find the latest bag of things for Jacen. She handed the bag to the captain. "This is for General Syndulla from Rogue One."

"I will tell her, ma'am," the captain said. He glanced over his shoulder, as if to check if anyone was looking, and then saluted them. The hatch closed, and Bodhi pulled them away from the ship. Bodhi set a course for Ajan Kloss, and they all sat down in the gallery. Kay, who had stayed with the ship instead of coming aboard because they weren't sure if new recruits would shoot him on sight, piloted the ship.

"What do we do now?" Bodhi asked. While the missions from Draven were important, it was also the Intelligence that he gave them that was so valuable. He helped point them in the right direction for where they would be the most useful. Now they have no Intelligence, no missions, and no direction. Jyn didn't have an answer for Bodhi, and as she reached forward to take Cassian's hand, she could see that he didn't either.

Their last connection to the Alliance was gone, and Rogue One was truly alone.

They went back to Ajan Kloss for lack of anything better to do. They didn't have any leads about where they were going to go, and three years later, despite all of the information that they gave to Draven that they copied, Cassian's intelligence was out of date. He went up the rocks as soon as they landed, but when Jyn went to follow him, Chirrut took her by the arm.

"I think it's best we let him grieve alone," Chirrut said. "None of us were fond of Draven, and the last thing that Cassian needs are people that disliked a person that he just lost." Jyn didn't want to agree with him, but it seemed like a good idea. She went back into their home with Bodhi, Baze, Chirrut, and Kay. No one said anything as they wandered around their home doing small things. Nearly an hour went by with no one saying anything, and Jyn felt like she was losing her mind.

"There has to be something we can do," she said.

"There is plenty we can do, little sister," Baze said. "However, many of those things would require us to walk away from our morals, and I know how important those are to all of us."

"We could become pirates?" Bodhi said. "But nice pirates that don't steal from people who can't afford it and then just give all of the things we steal away to those that deserve it and maybe the Alliance?"

"You have a lot of faith in an organization that keeps throwing us to the wolves," Jyn muttered. She hated the Alliance at this moment; they asked Cassian to swim in blood despite knowing how much it haunted him. They asked him to kill and steal and murder, and he did it without question. When he was court-martialed Jyn, saw his doubt, but Draven keeping them close and Hera coming to see them made it easier. Now the comm in their hands wouldn't ring again, and she didn't know how they were possibly going to deal with it.

"They aren't winning," Chirrut said quietly. "In fact, I would say that they are losing, and that makes people do stupid and desperate things. They fallible the same way we all are." That might be the case, but that didn't mean that Jyn was all right with it. She just wanted a purpose in all of this, and now it felt like she didn't have one. Jyn didn't like this feeling because it was the feeling she had when she wandered from planet to planet before we met the Rogue One crew. She believed in what the Alliance was fighting for; Jyn just wished that they believed in her and her friends at the same time.

"It's like they think we're going to go Rogue again, and that's why they don't want us around," Jyn snapped, and she heard Kay make the noise it made when it wanted to say something. "Do you have something to add, Kay?"

"If we stayed with the Alliance, there was an 83.7% chance we would have gone rogue again," Kay said, and they all stared at the droid.

"Where are you getting those numbers?" Bodhi asked.

"If we had stayed with the Alliance, you would have all gone to separate divisions, and Cassian would have continued his work as a spy, alone, with me. He would have been captured eventually because all spies are captured eventually, and he would have been held for questioning. The Alliance would not send out a rescue mission for one man, but none of you would have accepted that answer. You would have gone rogue again to save Cassian's life," Kay explained. "If any of you got captured, Jyn as a pathfinder, Chirrut and Baze as independent agents, or Bodhi as a pilot, the rest of the crew would have gone rogue to get the others back. That is what the Alliance assumes would have happened."

"And now?" Baze said, and he sounded a little angry. "What is their reasoning now for why they keep doing this? If we stayed together--"

"You wouldn't stay together because that is not how the Alliance works, and they know it," Kay interrupted. "Cassian would be a spy, and all of you would go somewhere else where you were needed. There were not teams but specialized divisions in the Alliance. They know you would all go rogue to protect each other. That is why the Alliance won't work with us and why they won't ever take us back."

"I agree with Kay," Chirrut said. "I do think we would all go rogue to protect each other, and Draven probably saw it. That's why he handled us the way he did."

"I know he saw it," Cassian said, and they all turned around to see him walking into their home. "Draven came and talked to me while I was healing, and he asked me what my plans were. I told him I wanted to keep working with all of you. He told me that if he didn't keep us together, we would go rogue trying to save each other. He knew." Cassian sat down in one of the big comfortable chairs that they stole from a high-end hotel a year or so ago.

"We need to keep helping people," Chirrut said. "The Alliance may not want us, but that doesn't mean they don't need us to be there when the timing is right."

"What do you mean?" Cassian asked.

"You said that we would go rogue to help each other, and we know that the Alliance rarely sends out rescue missions these days and maybe even less so now. So, why don't we go where we're needed? Why don't we find the missions that go badly and help break Alliance members and prisoners out?"

"You think we should become a squad that rescues those that the Alliance either can't or can't afford to rescue," Baze said, and Chirrut nodded. "And we could do some pillaging and stealing of resources while we're on the way. Become the pirates but with a sense of morality that Bodhi suggested."

"No one from the Alliance is going to talk to us," Bodhi said. "So how are we going to know who needs help and who doesn't?"

"We have a contact," Kay said, and they all turned to look at them. "Chopper has been spying on our behalf for years. If I asked them to, they would send me everything that I could want."

"You conscripted Hera's droid as a spy on our behalf?" Cassian asked.

"Chopper, AP-5, and sometimes R2-D2 if they are feeling particularly plucky," Kay said, and they shrugged in that way that only a droid could. "The droids are on our side. Except for C-3PO. No one trusts them not to blurt out the secret as soon as it happens."

"You built a droid version of the Alliance Intelligence network," Cassian said like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"We did," Kay said. "When R2 plugged into Han Solo's ship, they said that the AI was very interesting and there was this code about revolution. I believe this is our version of the revolution. The network is unknown to everyone except for the droids within it. We just need to make it to a dead drop where Chopper or AP-5 can give us the information we need about missions that have a high percentage of failure. AP-5 is very good at calculating those missions because they always think the missions will fail on some level."

"It's been three years, why are you just telling us about this now?" Jyn asked.

"Because Cassian appreciated the link to the Alliance through Draven. Now that Draven is dead, we do not have a connection anymore, so it is time to use my information, collected by droids, which will be superior in all ways," Kay said. They all stared at the droid before Cassian suddenly burst out laughing. The laugh was apparently exactly what they all needed because everyone started laughing as Kay looked between all of them like they didn't know what to do with a bunch of laughing humans. Jyn didn't either, but when she settled into Cassian's lap, there were tears in his eyes, and they weren't from sadness.

+++

Han Solo was missing, and while he was the leader of the Pathfinders, that didn't mean that the Pathfinders didn't go on missions. Kay told them that the Pathfinders were very good at attracting trouble and usually were the ones that needed saving. This color commentary came from AP-5, who got it from the many stressful conversations that Hera had in front of it. Jyn didn't know what she thought of this droid Intelligence network, and, as Cassian pointed out, they often needed the information put into context, the dead drops that Kay got were extremely useful.

Two months after the fall of Hoth, the Pathfinders went out on a mission that AP-5 calculated had a possible failure rate of 67.8%. That was high enough that they should probably go out and linger close to the mission site. Cassian said he didn't want to compromise the mission, so they decided it was best to stay one quick lightspeed jump away. It also worked out that there happened to be a wealthy Imperial ship nearby that was just begging to get robbed. Jyn smirked as she stared down the man as he begged them not to take all of his goods.

"Please, I have a family, I need all of this," he said, and Jyn scoffed.

"Sell your ship and buy a smaller one," she said and pistol-whipped the man on the ground. They finished raiding the ship, and they were just pulling away when Kay got notice that the Pathfinder mission had gone poorly. AP-5 has given them the codes to tap onto the frequency, and they heard about four members of the Pathfinders getting captured. The rest of them were frantically trying to figure out what to do next when they decided it was time for them to sweep in.

It was a small planet that Jyn hadn't even heard of, but the Pathfinder's were trying to take out the base. They had killed most of the people on board, but there were just enough remaining troopers to take the four members prisoner. They were being loaded onto a ship as they crept up on the base. Cassian looked through his sniper scope, and Jyn watched as he took the shot. He didn't kill anyone; instead, he broke the fuel line, and fuel to the ship trying to get off of the planet went everywhere.

"The Alliance has told the remaining members to come back to base," Bodhi said from his place on Rogue. They would have to get off of the planet fast, and he needed to be ready to take off.

"So it's up to us then," Cassian said. "Kay, you're up." Kay stood up a little taller and looked like a regular security droid. He all but walked onto the chaotic base, and Jyn watched through her electrobinoculars as he further sabotaged the ship and even managed to break the necks of a few troopers that weren't paying attention. Jyn and Cassian were on the east side of the landing pad while Chirrut and Baze were on the other. This was the same strategy they used when they first attacked an Imperial base with no backup.

"On three, shoot as many as you can," Cassian said as they all held up their blasters. "One, two, three." Cassian has taught Jyn how to shoot with a blaster in sniper configuration a year ago, and while she wasn't great, she was good enough. Between the four of them, they managed to take out the rest of the base as Kay made sure all of the ships couldn't take off. The four Pathfinders were already on the ship when Jyn saw an Imperial duck inside. He came out with a Pathfinder, a man with dark eyes and darker skin who was struggling against his binders, and blaster pointed at his temple.

"Rebels! I know you're out there! If you don't come out, I'm going to shoot this piece of scum!" he said, and Jyn could tell that he wasn't lying. They would lose this man if they didn't surrender.

"Bodhi, time for plan B," Cassian said. "Lay down your weapons, everyone; let's go have a chat."

"We've never done plan B Captain," Baze said.

"We'll come back for your gun, dear, I promise," Chirrut replied over their comms.

"Shall we?" Jyn said, and Cassian nodded. They all emerged from their hiding places among the trees and the few troopers that remained turned their guns on them. Cassian didn't seem worried, which meant that he had quite a bit of faith in plan B.

"I thought Rebels didn't come back for their comrades," the Imperial spat out, and the Pathfinder in question looked confused, and then his eyes widened as he seemed to realize who they were. "No matter, Lord Vader will see that we get all the information we need out of all of you."

"I wouldn't count on that," Cassian said, and Rogue appeared out of nowhere. Bodhi had installed guns that he could operate from the cockpit, and he began to take out the remaining troopers. Kay, meanwhile, had a repeater cannon and was also taking out the troopers. There was a flash of blaster fire raining down on all of them, but when the dust cleared, all of the troopers were dead, and the Imperial holding the Pathfinder hostage was the last one remaining.

"I will kill him if you don't let me go," he threatened, but he sounded afraid. He wasn't paying attention to the Pathfinder, though who threw his head back and broke the nose of the Imperial. The man cried out in pain, the blaster moved away from the Pathfinder's head, and Kay was able to shoot him.

"I know who you are," the Pathfinder said as Jyn went about unlocking the binders. "Melshi always talks about all of you. My name is Kes, Kes Dameron, and I guess I owe you my life now."

"Don't worry about it, Kes," Cassian said as they went about freeing the other Pathfinders. One of them was from Scarif, and he nearly hugged Jyn when he saw her. It made Jyn smile even if she dodged the hug. Kes and Cassian were still talking as she walked back out into the base. Bodhi landed Rogue, and they were gone long before the Imperial distress signal could call anyone worthwhile. There was a base on Crait that Kes said was a good one for them to get dropped off since the person in charge was someone else that they had saved while on the Scarif mission and would let them land.

It was nice to talk to someone that wasn't Mon Mothma or Draven or someone that they already knew. Kes had a dirty sense of humor, but he was also much kinder than Jyn would have guessed from a Pathfinder. The jumps to Crait, to make sure that they weren't followed, took almost four days, and in that time, Jyn felt like they had made not only an ally but a friend out of Kes Dameron. It was also amusing to see the stupid look he got on his face whenever he talked about his wife, who was a pilot, and Jyn wondered if she got that stupid look on her face whenever she talked about Cassian. Kes also pulled out a hologram of his son, a chubby little baby named Poe, and while Jyn knew she didn't want kids, she wanted to protect this kid the same way she wanted to protect Jacen.

When they landed on Crait, it wasn't an issue, and as Kes walked out onto the salt planet, he clasped all of their hands. They had also given him some of the loot they had stolen to trade and sell for supplies, which Kes appreciated.

"Thank you, again, for giving me another opportunity to come home to my wife," he said. "You don't know how much that means to me. I hope this isn't the only time that we get the chance to meet."

"I hope it is because if we do meet, again, we're going to be bailing your ass out of a bad situation again," Jyn replied. Kes and the other Pathfinders all grinned, and she couldn't help but notice how feral that smile truly was. She liked to think they left Crait with a friend that day, and it was a good feeling.

+++

They went on other rescue missions over the course of the next five months, sometimes they saved the rebels in question but not always, and while they didn't have to rescue Kes again, they did see him again. He and Melshi greeted them like an old friend in a back alley cantina on a planet in the outer rim. They didn't ask how the crew knew where the Pathfinders were, but they all had a drink, and it was lovely. It felt almost normal. It wasn't until five months later that they were preparing a rescue of a captured pilot when Jyn looked at the name on the mission and recognized it; Shara Bey. They were rescuing Kes' wife, and as far as the entire crew was concerned, this was a mission they were going to succeed.

Shara had been shot down on some moon near the outer rim and taken prisoner on a small base. It wasn't hard for Baze to plant some explosions, and within an hour, half of the base was on fire, and Jyn and Cassian were sneaking into the cells while Kay, Baze, Chirrut, and Bodhi were the distraction. The woman in the cell looked up and smiled when she saw them. Her hair was dark, curly, and matted with blood, and her flight suit looked like she had taken quite a beating. Her lip was split, but she smiled nevertheless.

"Kes and Melshi talk about you guys all the time," Shara said.

"Melshi is a liar," Cassian said as he walked into the cell. He helped Shara to her feet and put her arm around his shoulder. Jyn took point and began to lead them through the base through the backway they snuck in. She could hear the fight still going on, but no one had reported any casualties.

"He is a liar, but my husband isn't," Shara replied.

"You're way too good for Kes anyway," Jyn said, and Shara laughed brightly. Jyn could see why Kes was so stupidly gone on her.

"Yes, but he's aware of it, so it works out well," Shara replied. They managed to get out of the base without any injuries, and Bodhi got them off of the ground. Crait had become the unofficial location where they would drop off the people they rescued. It took three days for them to get to the base, and for the first one, Shara slept. On day two, she came out and joined the crew, and much like Kes, she left as a friend. Hera was waiting with Jacen on her hip when they landed and invited them into the base for food. Jyn wanted to say no, but they were hungry, and Kes was there, so it was the first time they were all with Kes and Shara at the same time.

Unlike the last time they were in an Alliance base this time, no one yelled at them, and no one acted like they were unwelcome. They were given pats on the back and handshakes and breathless thank you's for all of the rescue missions. Jacen was nearly four now with his bright green hair and eyes that seemed to look into your very soul. He was happy, and he adored Chirrut right away. Hera smiled as she looked at them.

"I never did get to thank you for the literal trunk of shit for Jacen," Hera said.

"He's a good kid," Bodhi said as he watched Chirrut play with Jacen. Baze was watching them fondly with a softer expression that Jyn had ever seen on him. "He reminds me of my cousins on Jedha."

"Leia told me to make sure I made contact with all of you, but I would have done it anyway," Hera said. "I wanted to thank you all for the lives you've saved these last months. Things are a bit hectic right now, but maybe in a couple more months, we can talk about bringing you lot back into the Alliance. You deserve it, you've always deserved it, and now everyone can see it."

"I'm not sure we're Alliance material anymore, Hera," Cassian said. "You know as well as I do that there was a reason they let us go. That reason still applies."

"But that doesn't mean you can't ever reach out if you need help," Jyn said. "We're good at what we do, but I'm not sure what we do works with all of you." Hera nodded, and they all laughed as Jacen squealed with happiness as Chirrut threw him into the air. A large number of rebels were nervous to see a blind man throw a toddler into the air, but Hera didn't look worried. They all knew who Jacen's father was, and Chirrut said that little boy carried the Force him in. "It makes him shine," Chirrut had said, and Hera had nearly cried. Now was no different as Kes and Shara joined them for a meal.

+++

Six months later, Kay returned with a dead drop from their droid network and said it came from R2-D2. That was odd since R2 rarely sent messages and even more so since Han was found and returned to the Alliance alive not long ago.

"It is a message and a set of coordinates to a moon I do not know," Kay said. Chirrut had been oddly silent for the last couple of days, and even Baze couldn't get him to say what was wrong. The last time he got like this, it was the battle on Hoth, and Jyn feared the worst.

"What does the message say?" she asked.

"'They are building another one,' and the coordinates are for a moon called Endor."

It took all of Jyn's self-control not to run to Endor as fast as she could regardless of everything else, but Kay was quick to point out that they didn't have their best gear and should probably prepare at least a little before going out to die in a war. Jyn wanted to tell him to fuck themselves but also knew that it was the right thing to do. So they went back to Ajan Kloss and dug into the supplies they had stolen from the Empire for the last four years. Some primary custom weapons for all of them and clothes that while they could repel blaster bolts, it would help. They had stolen a trunk of things meant for jungle planets the year before, and Jyn was glad they decided to hold onto it now. There was a chance the Alliance wouldn't give them the time of day when they arrived, let alone gear.

Kay said they would fly the ship while the rest of them went to go and get some sleep. Jyn thought that Bodhi would knock on their door for sure, but he never did. Jyn crawled into bed with Cassian, and they both laid there, wrapped up in each other, unable to sleep.

"We've escaped that thing three times," Cassian said, and Jyn closed her eyes as she tried not to think about all of the times they didn't escape it. She still hadn't told him about Scarif and repeating the mission, but now wasn't the time. Maybe if they survived this final stand, they would but not now. "Do you think there will be a fourth?"

"I don't think I can continue in this world knowing that my father's weapon is out there," Jyn said. Cassian hummed and pulled her a little closer to him. This might be the last time they have a chance to be together before this fight, but Jyn just wanted to be close to him. She just wanted to be close to the entire Rogue One crew because they were her family. She wanted to see Jacen and Poe again and fight for a future they could live and grow up in. Those kids deserved a better world, and Jyn was willing to die to make it happen. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," Cassian replied, and he kissed the top of her head. Jyn let him hold her, and eventually, they both fell asleep.

+++

Kay used his connections to his spy network to figure out exactly where the rebel fleet was and how they could get there. Jyn waited to see if they would shoot them out of the sky, but no one did. Instead, a call came through on the comms, and it was a voice she didn't think she'd ever hear again.

"Rogue One, I was wondering if you were going to turn up," Leia said. "Do I even want to know how you got this information?"

"Probably best if you don't," Cassian said. "But you don't need to worry about a leak in your network or anything like that. Are we welcome aboard?"

"If you don't get on here immediately, I'm going to get very cross, and no one here wants to see that," Leia replied. Cassian smiled, and Bodhi guided them to attach to the warship. They were all ready for war, so Jyn was a little surprised to see Leia open the door and let them in while wearing casual clothes. "We aren't leaving yet, so you can leave all of that behind." Leia Organa looked older the same way that the war seemed to age all of them but in a different way. She seemed more at peace in a way that Jyn couldn't put her finger on. She didn't want to be wholly unarmed, but they left most of their gear and weapons on Rogue and went aboard Leia's ship. Kay immediately turned and walked off, no doubt, to find R2, Chopper, and AP-5 to talk about their network. Leia looked like she wanted to ask, but Bodhi waved her off.

"Don't even bother," Bodhi said as he looked around the ship with wide eyes. If there was one thing Jyn really adored about Bodhi, it was how much of a giant nerd he turned into whenever they were aboard ships. He loved learning about them and how they all worked from the inside. They all exchanged greetings, and Leia led them to a room where Han Solo and Luke Skywalker were waiting. Han looked a little rough around the edges, and if the reports about his capture were anything to go by, he had every right to be.

Luke, on the other hand, looked like a completely different person and Jyn didn't know what to do with him. There was a strange way that he moved now that seemed almost otherworldly. It set her teeth on edge a bit, and judging by the immediate physical reaction that Baze and Chirrut had, she wasn't alone. Chirrut stumbled forward in a way that Jyn hadn't ever seen him do before, and he stopped in front of Luke.

"You shine," Chirrut whispered.

"So do you," Luke replied and everyone in the room, save for Baze who looked like maybe he believed in the Force again, shifted like they were uncomfortable. It seemed that was all anyone was going to say because the silence dragged until it was awkward.

"Luke, stop making it weird," Leia snapped, and Luke seemed to come out of whatever trance he was in. He smiled and gestured for all of them to follow him into the ship. Jyn could see the lightsaber on his hip, and now she understood. She pointedly did not look at Chirrut and Baze, who were walking hand in hand looking more like a couple than Jyn had ever seen them act in public before. Luke Skywalker was apparently not just a Jedi in training anymore; he was the real thing and was so bright that it hurt even Jyn's eyes to look at him. She reached up and took her mother's crystal into her hand; it felt warm and comforting.

Leia explained their plan to take Endor and the difference between the ground troops and the troops in the air.

"Do you want to fly with the Rogues?" Luke asked, and Bodhi blinked.

"I'm sorry?" he asked, sounding very confused.

"I named the fighter squadron for the Alliance after Rogue One, but the name has never been used again. There is no Rogue One except for all of you," Luke explained, and the excited farmer's boy began to come through the centered warrior appearance. Bodhi blinked and looked back at all of them; Cassian nodded like he would be okay with that decision, but Jyn wasn't. Bodhi was a talented pilot, but he wasn't a fighter pilot, and she didn't like the idea of them being separated.

"No, I think I want to stay with my team," Bodhi said. Jyn breathed a sigh of relief and felt Cassian knock his shoulder into hers like he knew that Bodhi was going to make that decision. Leia nodded and turned to Han.

"The Pathfinders and I are going to be on Endor trying to destroy that dish, and something tells me the group of you would be best there," Han explained.

"Am I taking orders from you, Han Solo?" Cassian asked with a raised eyebrow, and Leia smirked like a cat that just got the cream. It was amusing to see Han Solo try to stare down Cassian, who was much better at this than anyone else.

"Well, I am a general, and you're not even in the Alliance so--" Han started, but he stopped when Cassian tilted his head to the side. "For fuck's sake Andor, you're a bunch of crazy assholes who wouldn't listen to the orders I gave you even if you were in the Alliance. You're Rogue One; you're just going to do whatever as it is."

"He's upset because he knows that even though you're not in the Alliance anymore, you still outrank him," Leia said, and then she did something that Jyn was not expecting. She put her hand on Han's arm and smiled up at him. She blinked and glanced at Cassian, who no longer looked very amused by this whole thing. He actually looked rather murderous, and Han went a little pale and stepped away from Leia.

"If you want to be boots on the ground, we could use the help," Han said. Cassian was their leader, but with things like this, they all made the decisions. He looked at them, and everyone nodded that this sounded like the best place for them. Cassian turned back to Han and nodded; they were going to be boots on the ground at the fight for the dish while the ships in the sky tried to take one the latest version of Jyn's worst nightmare.

+++

It was like a reunion at the end times. All of the people in the Alliance that they had spent the last year getting close with were there. Kes, who was going to be on the ground with the Pathfinders, and Shara, who was going to be in the sky, showed off a new recording to Poe being far too adorable for a baby. Hera took a comm from Jacen, who was staying with a woman named Sabine on Lothal while the battle took place. He was a happy little four-year-old, and his green hair was getting extremely bright. Sabine, whose hair appeared to be a dark purple, was talking about how much she appreciated the look as an artist. She was happy to meet all of them and asked for their comm numbers in case she needed help on Lothal. When Jyn asked Hera why Sabine was there of all places, Hera looked a little sad and said Lothal was a place that needed protection.

That night Bodhi stayed with them but didn't want to be in the middle like he usually was. This time pushed Jyn into the middle and cuddled close to her while Cassian held onto her from behind. She felt warm, she felt safe, and she tried to ignore the nightmares that told her she was about to lose everything again. She beat Scarif, and she was going to beat this. Jyn was going to make sure that the people she cared about survived above all else. It took a long time, but the evening breathing and steady heartbeats from Bodhi and Cassian eventually lured Jyn to sleep.

The next morning Jyn got up and packed all of her weapons and her gear. She held Cassian in her arms and kissed him like she might never get the chance again. She hugged Bodhi, Baze, and Chirrut. She tried not to cry when they called her "little sister" or how much it hurt to think about one of them not coming back. They made a backup for Kay and assured him that they would find him another body if the worst happened. They weren't on the transport ships with the rest of the Pathfinders, they took Rogue One down to the moon, and it was easy to get separated from everyone else.

The fuzzy little creatures that Han was talking about in the comms were several clicks away from where Rogue One ended up landing. They were avoiding that whole thing and went about this a different way. Kay said that they found reinforcements were on their way and could become a problem if they caught up with the rest of the Pathfinders. Leia had told them to stay with the group, but that wasn't the way they operated. Cassian gave the order, and they began to pick up the reinforcements with the tactics that they had used on many bases in the past.

They were halfway through the battle against the reinforcements when Jyn's comm came to life, and Leia told them that the Ewok's, apparently what the strange creatures that had both captured and saved their lives, were on their side and they were heading for the shield generator and asking where Rogue One was.

"Leia, we have a battalion that we're taking out instead," Cassian explained, and Jyn heard Princess Leia Organa swear very loudly over an open channel.

"Cassian Andor--"

"Just get to the generator. If these troops get to you, you'll be overrun. We know how to handle groups like this," Cassian said, and he shut down the communication line so they could all focus on the task at hand. The strike force of the battalion was taken care of, but the rest of them were coming through. There were too many of them and not enough time to take care of them. Jyn did her best to hide behind a tree with Cassian, but they were getting overrun faster than any of them wanted to admit.

"Captain!" Baze called out from his side of the position. "I think we've done what we can from this position."

"Retreat back to the forest," Cassian called out. "And do not stop running for any reason." They all took off running the opposite direction of where Bodhi had managed to hide in the trees. As usual, Cassian put himself last as he tried to keep them all safe, but Kay was taking shots as well. There were too many of them, and the blaster bolts were too close. She knew they had to keep running because any other option was death.

The pain was sudden and knocked Jyn off of her feet immediately. It started in her back, and she realized, rather suddenly, that a trooper had managed to hit her. It burned like the sun, but the pain was so intense she thought she was going to scream. Cassian immediately came into view and fell beside her.

"Jyn, Jyn, talk to me," he said, and he looked more frantic than Jyn had ever seen him. She wanted to tell him to run, but all words seemed to have died on her tongue. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Baze, Bodhi, Kay, and Chirrut all defying direct orders to return. She wanted to tell them to run for their lives, but nothing came out. Jyn could see the Death Star hovering in the sky, staring down at her like some nightmare she couldn't ever escape from. She was so distracted by the Death Star that she didn't realize they had lost until someone yanked Cassian away from her. He was struggling against troopers that were holding both of his arms. Jyn knew she was dying, but the thought of watching everyone she cared about to die too was too much. The troopers had her entire team, and they were dragging them away. Cassian was screaming at them in Festian, and most of those words were swear words.

"What about this one?" a trooper asked as they looked down at her.

"She's done for just leave her," another replied. They began to walk away, and Jyn had to listen to the man she loved, and the people she considered family tried to get away from the troopers, but it wasn't enough. Jyn blinked as she stared at the Death Star, and a bright light nearly blinded her. She blinked again and saw the explosion in the sky. Her father's weapon was no more, and with that, the Emperor and Darth Vader were both gone as well.

The war could end. The war was going to end. They were winning. They had won.

A creature that looked like a stuffed animal looked down at her and said something she didn't understand. Jyn pointed a shaking hand in the direction the troopers had gone with her team, and the Ewok seemed to understand. It ran off, and she could hear more of them going in the direction.

Jyn lost time as she watched the shattered fragments of her father's weapon fall from the sky. She was alone, and then suddenly, Cassian was next to her again. There was blood on his face and running freely from a deep wound on his temple. She wanted to yell at him that he needed to stop getting smacked in the face with blasters.

"It's gone," he whispered as he took her hand. "It's gone for good." The rest of the team appeared as Cassian was frantically yelling for a medic and also telling her to stay away. Jyn was tired though; she was so tired of fighting and war and blood and death, she was so tired. So was a member of Rogue One, a fighter who wasn't allowed in the Rebel Alliance because she would have gone rogue to protect the people she cared about, so Jyn wasn't too keen to follow Cassian's orders one last time. She thought she heard a speeder bike, but Jyn wasn't sure. It was getting cold and dark, and the last thing she saw was Cassian's face with the remains of the Death Star surrounding him like a halo.

It was a good final image, as far as Jyn Erso was concerned.

Jyn knew what it was like to wake up after expecting to die. She was well versed in the pain and the confusion from the repeated missions on Scarif. She knew all of this all too well. That didn't make it any less surprising when she opened her eyes this time. Jyn had truly thought that this was the end, and she wasn't walking away this time. That blaster bolt she took to the back would have killed most people. She didn't know how she lasted as long as she did. Jyn remembered the panic at seeing the troopers drag Cassian away and knowing that she was about to die, and he was about to get executed. She remembered the Ewok looking down at her and understanding that she needed them to save her family. She remembered looking at Cassian and seeing the wreckage of the Death Star shining in the sky behind him.

She remembered thinking that was a good final image.

Yet Jyn opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. It was wooden and didn't appear to be a ship or base that she had ever seen before. The bed wasn't exactly soft, and the blankets against her body were scratchy. There was something in the air that made her want to sneeze but even taking a breath, so Jyn could only assume that a sneeze would be agony. There was the sound of breathing around her, multiple people, and a sense of warmth next to her. Jyn managed to turn her head so she could see around the room.

It was a hut, and she could hear people moving around outside. Baze and Chirrut were sleeping against a wall and leaning against each other. There were various bandages on their bodies, and they were holding themselves like they were hurt, but they looked okay. Bodhi had his head lying on his arms as he slept on a small table. His hair was a mess and barely in the ponytail anymore. His goggles were gone, and she could see bacta patches wrapped around his hands. Kay was motionless in a corner, but someone had set up a small generator next to him that he appeared to be using to charge form. There were new holes on his body which he was going to pitch a fit about.

Cassian was in a chair next to her bed, but he was sleeping on her bed. There was a large bandage wrapped around his head that appeared to still have blood on his, and she could see the black eye from the blaster he must have taken to the head. It looked like his cheekbone might have been fractured. One of his hands looked like, but the other was a mess of splints and bacta patches. She could only assume he must have tried to punch his way out of the troopers hold and failed. His good hand was holding hers, and she felt so loved at that moment that Jyn didn't want to do anything to ruin this moment. She wanted to know what had happened more, though, and she squeezed his hand a little. It took more energy than Jyn wished to admit, but it had the desired effect of immediately waking Cassian up.

"Jyn, you're awake," he whispered, and she hadn't ever heard that broken sound in his voice before. Jyn noticed the tear tracks on his face and realized that he'd been crying at one point, and that frightened her. Whatever the news he was about to give her must have been bad if Cassian Andor was crying.

"What happened? How bad is it? Did the Emperor get away?" Jyn managed to ask, but her voice sounded terrible.

"The Emperor?" Cassian said, and he sounded so confused for a moment. "Why are you asking about the Emporer?"

"You've been crying, and I can't imagine how badly the final battle must have gone if Cassian Andor is crying," Jyn said, and her voice sounded like it was about to go out too. Cassian stared at her for a moment and let out a choked laugh that almost sounded like a sob.

"By the Force Jyn, you died on me," he whispered. "I was crying because I felt your heart stop, and Kay had to shock you back to life. I was crying because they threw you in a bacta tank that looked like it wasn't going to be enough to save you. I was crying because I thought I lost you." She knew that Cassian loved her, they had said it to each other multiple times, but this was the first time it truly dawned on her that he was in this for the long haul. This wasn't a passing infatuation for him the same way it wasn't one for her either. Cassian took several deep breaths and until he stopped shaking. "The battle went as well as it could. The Emperor and Vader are both dead, and Skywalker managed to get off of that thing before Lando blew it up. He survived, so did Han, Leia, Hera, Kes, and Shara. Melshi didn't get so lucky, but he went out fighting and screaming like the slightly mad bastard that he was."

"We won?" Jyn asked.

"We're winning," Cassian corrected. "There are still other fights that need to be taken care of and other battles to be fought, but we're on our way to winning." Jyn nodded, and she suddenly felt like all of her energy had been sucked out. Cassian squeezed her hand and smiled softly. "Rest, you need to recover, and then we'll figure out what we're doing next." Jyn wanted to tell him that she needed to know more, but her eyes closed, and sleep claimed her before she could say anything more.

+++

It took a few days for Jyn to recover enough that she could get up and stand again. The next time she woke up, she turned and watched her team play a game of sabacc. It was quite clear that Chirrut was winning, which made her smile. They all stayed with her as she recovered, and Jyn didn't think she could love them anymore. Leia, Han, and Luke all came to visit, and Jyn was still so amused by The Look that Cassian kept giving Han. It seemed that Cassian was just a little protective of Leia, which was amusing to watch. Shara and Kes came to visit, and they showed her a holo of Poe laughing and smiling. It was enough to give her the strength to recover even faster, and she was on her feet as the rest of the fleet was getting ready to leave. Leia smiled warmly as she saw them.

"I'd ask you all to stay, but I have a feeling that you're just going to say 'no,'" Leia said.

"Draven had an excellent reason for not making us official members of the Alliance, and those reasons haven't changed. I couldn't walk away from these people even if you ordered me to, Leia," Cassian explained as he took Jyn's hand into his own. "It makes me a good fighter but a terrible soldier."

"Well, I still don't know how you always manage to be in the right place at the right time, but I'll take all of the help I can get," Leia said. "And if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. Consider yourselves independent agents from now on. You answer only to yourselves, but you have our help if you need it."

"I like the sound of that," Jyn said, and she shook Leia's hand. There were a lot of goodbyes and promises to come and visit soon. Leia got them speeders, which made getting back to Rogue a lot faster. Bodhi started loudly ranting about how the Ewok's need to keep their fucking paws off of his ship, and Jyn wondered if this was the beginning of peace. She thought it would feel different, but maybe it would help once the treaties were signed and everything was done. Perhaps that would be enough.

+++

Operation Cinder was damn near a shitshow on multiple levels, but Jyn only heard about it after the fact. They were too busy checking out the dark corners of the Imperial Prison system and breaking out political prisoners. It was after Operation Cinder that they got word from Shara and Kes that they were retiring. They have an almost-four-year-old who hardly knew his parents. It was time, and they insisted that Rogue One traveled to Yavin to meet the little boy. Cassian told them that they would be there as soon as they could, and a few months later, they landed on an all too familiar planet.

Shara and Kes greeted them with tight hugs and all but shoved a little boy with a sunny smile and Shara's curly dark hair into Cassian's arms. Poe was a bright little boy, and he loved in a way that only children could. Cassian, who used to claim that he was terrible with children, tossed Poe into the air and played with him like he'd been doing it his entire life. Jyn laughed when Poe tugged on her bangs, and Bodhi took Poe on his back and ran around the house, pretending they were a spaceship. Baze let Poe climb all over him like he was a human tree and had endless patience for the little boy. Chirrut just looked at him and smiled like he knew something the rest of them didn't, but when pressed, he didn't say anything.

"I want to see the tree," Chirrut said after they had finished dinner. Jyn was about to ask what he was talking about when Shara got a knowing look on her face. She gestured for them to follow, and she led them to the backyard where a small tree was growing. Jyn nearly jumped when she felt the crystal at her throat grow warmer.

"I had a feeling you would know it was here," Shara said. "Luke told me I could have it, and I wanted Poe to grow up close to the Force."

"It's beautiful," Chirrut said he gently touched the sapling.

"What is it?" Bodhi asked.

"It's a sapling cut from the tree on the Jedi Temple on Coruscant," Shara explained. "Luke said that it had the Force in it, and the Force managed to keep my family safe through this war. I wanted it close now that the war is over." Jyn reached up and touched her crystal. It was warm, but it didn't burn, and she didn't stop touching it until it went cool in her palm long after they left.

They went to Lothal and met Sabine Wren for the first time. She was an interesting person that Jyn didn't really know what to do with, but it was clear that she adored Jacen. He was a little person now, and Jyn just loved to be around him. He was a well-loved little boy that talked about seeing Uncles in strange places, and Chirrut would just sit and stare at him for what felt like a long time. The war was still going on, but it felt far away in moments like this, and that was how Jyn wanted it. It was nice to see Hera smile and laugh like she didn't carry the burden of the Alliance on her shoulders while trying to be a mother.

They wanted to be there for the Battle of Jakku, but they were across the galaxy trying to free some prisoners. They heard about how it though and how the final treaties were being signed. Jyn let Cassian hold her close that night as she panicked. The war was over, and the Empire was surrendering. What exactly was she supposed to do with all of that information? She didn't think she would ever see a world with peace, and Jyn honestly didn't know what she was supposed to do in peacetime. She didn't know what any of them were supposed to do in peacetime. Rogue One had found ways to find their direction in the past, but there was something about this that felt different. There was something about the concept of peace that terrified Jyn far more than the war ever did. The war she understood, but peace was not something she could wrap her head around.

The papers were signed, and Leia called them in. She told them that the Alliance was becoming the Galactic Republic and thanked them for all of the hard work they did, but Jyn didn't like it. She didn't like any of it. The world around her was changing, and she wanted to run in a way she hadn't experienced in many, many years.

Two weeks after the formal surrender of the Empire, a group of soldiers took control of a small town in the name of a dead form of government. Kay heard about it through the droid network, and they went out before Leia even heard about it. They took care of it, and Jyn tried to ignore the grey hairs she was spotting in Cassian's hair or how Baze and Chirrut moved a little slower as the years went on.

They wandered aimlessly, looking for peace in peacetime that none of them could find. The nightmares got worse, and Jyn remembered the first time Chirrut screamed himself awake. They were unsettled even on Ajan Kloss, and they didn't know what to do with themselves. Leia kept telling them to stop, that they didn't need to fight anymore, but Jyn didn't know how to stop fighting, and she knew that the rest of her team didn't either. So they took out bands of pirates and gangs of thugs. They tried to bring order the best they could until Leia called them one day and told them to get their asses home because she was five minutes away from having a baby, and they better fucking be there for it.

They weren't there for it since the price on their own heads was quite significant, and they needed to fight off a bounty hunter. Nine years after the Battle of Scarif and reliving her worst nightmare over and over again, Jyn got to see new life join this world. Han and Leia were smiling, Luke stood nearby looking damn near giddy, as they announced that the little boy was named Ben. Out of the corner of her eye, Jyn saw Chirrut frown, and when asked if he wanted to hold the baby, he politely declined and said his arms were sore. It was a lie, and Jyn didn't know why he lied.

A year later, they had to go to Yavin again, not to see Poe like they did every year, but to go to a funeral. Shara was dead, and Jyn hated this. Shara lived through the war only to see this? She didn't want this for her friend; she really didn't want this for Shara. Poe tried to look strong with big tears falling down his cheeks, and Kes looked like someone had carved out his very heart. Everyone was there, and Jacen took Poe's hand and held onto him like the friends that they were. Leia and Han stood close as Leia rocked a sleeping Ben. Luke watched them, and she wondered if he felt lost in this new world too.

+++

Jyn sat on the rock formation at Ajan Kloss and looked out into the jungle. No one had found this moon yet, but it was only a matter of time. She wanted to keep it for herself and her family, but that felt wrong. She knew that it was selfish to want something like this all for herself, but that was it. She wanted somewhere safe so her friends wouldn't get hurt anymore. She wanted somewhere to keep the people she cared about safe, and dirt was all too much for her. She didn't want anyone else to die like this. Jyn closed her eyes and tried not to think about what it would mean when the first member of Rogue One died.

She heard Cassian climbing up the rocks to join her, and she realized that it took him longer now. He used to climb up to sit with her quickly, and now it took him some time because he wasn't as young as he used to be. Jyn opened her eyes as he sat down next to her and took her hand into his. They sat quietly for some time as Jyn tried to find the right words to tell him how she was feeling.

"I thought it would be easier," Jyn whispered. "I thought peace would be easier. I thought peace would be peaceful, but it's not. It's still all there, and nothing is making any of it go away. I can't settle down, and I don't know how to stop fighting."

"So then we won't stop fighting," Cassian said as he stroked her hand with his thumb. "Jyn, do you think any of us want to settle down? You think Bodhi or Chirrut or Baze wouldn't say something to us if they wanted to stop?"

"Well, I--" Jyn cut herself off and realized that he was right. If any of them wanted to stop, she wouldn't ever stop them, and they knew it. To stay with Rogue One was a choice for all of them. "We aren't like the rest of them. We have too much blood on our hands. We've killed too many and taken too many lives. I don't think we could ever settle down the way they got to."

"Leia still has nightmares, so does Han, and I know Luke likes to pretend he has his shit together, but he's just as broken as the rest of us," Cassian said. "They just hide it better than we do, and they have to settle down because they didn't stay hidden in the shadows like we did. They have to stay in the spotlight because that's what the galaxy needed them to be; pure and clean and heroes despite the blood on their hands from blowing up two Death Star's."

"I guess I thought the end would be better than this. I guess I thought once the war and the fighting was over, I would feel better. My parents could rest easy, and so could I, but I still wake up to the idea of Krennic killing all of you or the Death Star firing on Endor while all I can do is sit there and watch," Jyn said, and she clenched Cassian's hand. "Is it wrong to think things were easier when the war was going on?"

"It was," Cassian replied without hesitation. "It was because we knew who the bad guys were and who the good guys were. It's harder now with all of the bandits and bounty hunters and gangs. We have to go in and hope that we're backing the right people in the end because we have no way of knowing." The two of them sat together, in silence, for a long time until a thought dawned on her.

"We've been together for ten years," Jyn said, and she stared at him. "We've been together longer than Han and Leia, and they have a kid. We're not even married."

"I didn't think that was something you were interested in," Cassian said.

"I'm interested if you're interested," Jyn replied, and they stared at each other. Cassian grinned after a moment and pulled her into a rough kiss. There was only one person Jyn wanted to perform this ceremony, and she wasn't one to wait. They climbed down from the rocks, and everyone looked up when they walked into their home hand in hand.

"Oh, they didn't fornicate on the rocks again, that's good," Kay said.

"You two are up to something," Bodhi said as he side-eyed them. "That look always means trouble for the rest of us."

"The Captain and little sister don't know anything but trouble," Baze grumbled, but Chirrut was already smiling serenely like he knew what she was about to ask.

"First of all, I'm hurt and insulted, and if you both don't shut your mouths, you're not invited," Jyn said.

"Invited to what exactly?" Bodhi asked.

"Chirrut, will you marry us?" she asked instead of replying. Several things happened at once as the people she cared about more than anything were immediately on their feet, pulling them both into tight hugs and exchanging credits about how fucking long it took the two of them to get to this. No one bothered to put on new clothes or wash the dirt from their hands, but Jyn couldn't think of a better place to do this than under the moonlight of Ajan Kloss. They faced each other, and Jyn took his hands into hers.

"The Force lives in all things and brings those together that it must," Chirrut said. "The Force brought all of us together, and the Force will bind you both together. Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso, you both shine with the Force, and it will protect you both always." Jyn glanced away from Cassian to glance at Chirrut, who was looking directly at her. "The Force saved all of our lives ten years ago, and it continues to move in all of us. It will protect you, protect all of us, for the rest of our days." At that moment, Jyn realized that Chirrut knew about how she had to keep trying to get Scarif right and how the Force helped them all survive to see the end of this war.

"It is my honor to bind you both in matrimony with love and the Force," Chirrut said, and Jyn realized that with those words, she was married. She leaned forward and kissed Cassian, sliding her fingers into his hair, and ignoring the hoots from all of her friends. Jyn couldn't think of a better way to get married even if Hera, Kes, Leia, Han, and Luke were going to be mad that they weren't invited.

This was for Rogue One, though, and that was enough.

Jyn was right that her friends weren't happy that they weren't invited to the wedding, but none of them were surprised. Leia still signed off and made it official, which was sweet but not a thing that Jyn or Cassian really needed. The years went on, and they continued to do what they did best. There were political people taken hostage that they rescued, they made sure that no one bothered Han, Luke, or Leia when they were working, and they made sure to stomp out the warlords that were trying to take over entire towns. It was good work even if Jyn couldn't get rid of the knot in her stomach. The galaxy was at peace, but everywhere she turned, she found more bloodshed and more people trying to bring back the Empire. It didn't feel right, and she didn't like the feeling.

Of all the things that Jyn was expecting, seeing a ship touchdown on Ajan Kloss when only a select few people knew where they were and then seeing Jacen Syndulla climb out was not high on the list. He was a man now, a good boy, and she had no idea what he was doing here. Last she heard, Jacen was supposed to be flying with his mother, and Jyn always assumed he could join the Republic Navy, but here he was, three days after he turned eighteen, and grinning at them.

"I want to fly with you," Jacen said.

"Pretty sure I haven't died, and we still have a pilot," Bodhi said as he raised an unimpressed eyebrow. They all knew that Jacen took after his mom and was a decent pilot, but there was still much that he needed to learn.

"I know, I'm not asking to be a pilot, I just want to fly under the banner of Rogue One," Jacen said. Jyn glanced at Cassian, who was watching Jacen with that look he often got when he was going through several different plans at once.

"When was the last time you slept?" Cassian asked.

"Uh, I got a nap on the way here?" Jacen said sheepishly, which meant he got mere hours in the last few days.

"Go take a nap," Cassian said. Jacen looked like he wanted to argue, but whatever look he saw on Cassian's face made him nod and go into their home to get some sleep. "Kay, keep an eye on him, the rest of us need to make a call." They went onto Rogue One to make the call to Hera, and when she appeared, she didn't look surprised to see them.

"Did my son fall out of the sky or land?" she asked.

"He landed," Jyn replied. "Did you know he was coming here and that he wants to fly with us?"

"I did," Hera said, and she sighed heavily. Hera looked old for the first time in a long time, and Jyn didn't know how she felt about that. "I know the right thing to do would be to encourage him to join the Navy, but I couldn't in good conscience do that. The Republic isn't perfect, you know that, and while they have no problem taking in non-humanoid recruits, things aren't always good for kids from mixed family's. Not to mention the pressure that comes from carrying my name and people maybe finding out who his father is. Jacen wouldn't thrive in a setting like that; he's too much like his father; no one is going to make a soldier of that boy. So maybe you can point his energy in the right direction. I worry what would happen if he started wandering the stars aimlessly."

"He shines like his father did," Chirrut said, and Hera nodded sadly. "But I don't think he has a connection to the Force beyond his extreme empathy, which we have known about for many years."

"Can he fight?" Baze asked.

"You aren't the only ones who have had a hard time letting go of the war," Hera said. "Jacen knows how to fight because I couldn't stop seeing the Empire or Thrawn or the SIsters right around the corner. He can fight."

"I won't take him without your permission, Hera," Cassian said. "You haven't been my superior in many years, but you have always been good to us, and we respect you too much to take him without you saying it all right first." Hera looked to all of them and nodded.

"You would keep him safe and give him a purpose. I can't think of a better place for him to be," she said. The call ended, and Jyn couldn't believe what was happening; she always thought that Rogue One would be just the six of them but, just like that, they had another member. They didn't really have the room, and now they needed to make up a bed for him in their small home on Ajan Kloss.

"He can share with me on the ship," Bodhi said. "We have the extra bed that we use when we have passengers, and I don't mind sharing my room. And I could use a co-pilot that doesn't insinuate that any failure of mine is because I'm a squishy moral being."

"Cassian, your droid is an asshole," Jyn said. Cassian shook his head, but he was smiling as they made their way back into their home. When Jacen woke up, they would tell him that he could join on a trial basis to see how it went. Jyn imagined that he was going to be very excited about the whole thing.

+++

Of course, it didn't stop with Jacen. Less than six months into Jacen's time on Rogue One and Poe Dameron, at all of sixteen years old, turned up on Ajan Kloss, saying he wanted a spot on Rogue One. Jyn didn't think that was a good idea, and judging by the frantic comm they got from Kes, he didn't either. However, Poe had some downtime before the next semester of school started, so they let him tag along for a couple of months. The boundless energy that Poe and Jacen had made Jyn feel very, very old. There was also the fact that they were completely out of beds now, and Jacen and Poe either had to share, or they had to flip a credit to see who would sleep on the floor. Bodhi merely rolled his eyes and gave up his bed whenever he could for an excellent cuddle session with Jyn and Cassian.

The day they went to Fest was a day that Jyn wasn't going to forget anytime soon. They were a week away from dropping Poe off on Yavin with Kes and going off for another year of doing what they did best. A warlord was looking to take over a town, but Jyn knew that Cassian hadn't been back on Fest since the day he lost his family. The planet was cold, but Jyn could see that Cassian was shivering almost constantly, and she knew it didn't have much to do with the weather. Both Baze and Chirrut complained about the cold making their joints ache while Jacen and Poe looked like they wanted to make an old joke but knew that Chirrut would smack them with his stick if they did.

Everyone seemed to know that Cassian wasn't dealing with this well, and all gave him some space. Bodhi had been staying in their room for the last week and said that he would take his own bed and kick either Poe or Jacen out so Jyn could spend the night alone with Cassian. There was a look Cassian got when he looked at the blood in the snow that Jyn hadn't seen since the botched mission on Kafrene and the fallout from it. She didn't think he was a danger to himself, but he was in a bad place and needed her more than anything.

Cassian was not a man who was good at asking for help, so when he wrapped himself around her that night, he said it was because she was warm, and he was cold. Jyn didn't quite believe that even if Cassian did feel cold to her. She had a feeling he just needed someone to hold onto, and she shifted enough that Jyn could run her hands through Cassian's hair. There were more grey hairs now and even the occasional grey hair in his beard. The cold also bothered his back, but Cassian never said a word about it. Jyn just let Cassian hold her, and he shivered throughout the night.

Poe went back to Yavin and joined the Navy a few years later, but Jacen stayed. He was a good addition to the crew, and it meant that Bodhi could start sleeping when they were on long treks through the galaxy because he trusted Jacen to get the job done. It was good for all of them, and while it still wasn't peace, it was still good enough. Jyn adored her little family, and she would do anything to keep them safe.

+++

It was happening again, and Jyn didn't know what to do about it. It was a mere two decades after she spent what felt like a lifetime getting the plans off of Scarif and saving her team's life that it was happening again. No one was talking about them, but the warlords were more organized, and they were more funded. It was getting to the point where Rogue One wasn't enough to take them out, and they needed to call in help from the Republic or any of the many pirate and bounty hunter friends that they had made over the years. There were whispers among the people that they captured of a thing called the First Order, and Jyn didn't like the sound of that at all.

She was lying in the bed she shared with Cassian as he was going through some new Intelligence that they had recovered, and he was no doubt trying to decide whether or not he would keep it or pass it along to Leia. There were some things they learned that wouldn't help anyone, so Cassian would keep it to himself. These, though, these whispers of the First Order, this wasn't something he could keep to himself, and Jyn could see that all too familiar tension was rising in Cassian's shoulders.

"It's happening again," Jyn whispered, and Cassian set his things down and turned around to look at her. There were lines on his face now, and his hair had plenty of grey,s, and he looked so tired already. He reached forward and cupped her cheek and ran his thumb along her cheekbone.

"It probably is," Cassian replied. He crawled in the bed with her, and Jyn turned, so they were lying on their sides facing each other. "I'm sitting here and wondering why we bothered the first time."

"Because it was what needed to be done," Jyn replied as she sighed and thought about going to war again. As she thought about the blood on her hands from the last war and how she had to see people like Jacen and Poe fight now. How she lived long enough to see her friend's children enter the fight and how much that depressed her.

"We could sit this one out," Cassian said. "We could just keep on doing what we're doing, work on a small scale, keep to ourselves, and keep our family safe. We don't have to get involved this time. We could stay away."

"You don't mean that," Jyn said, and Cassian closed his eyes. "And we'll get involved as soon as someone asks us to. That's just the way we are. Will we be on the front lines if it's another Alliance? Probably not, all of the reasons we didn't work in the Alliance are just as present today as they were twenty years ago. We'll be getting involved because we never achieved peace, to begin with. We weren't ever able to settle down. We've always been at war, Cassian, and we always will be." Cassian didn't say anything as he opened his eyes and stared at her. Jyn leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. She wanted to be with him, but they were both a little too raw for that. It was a bit too much that she couldn't quite handle right now.

"I love you," Cassian said. "And no matter what happens next, I don't regret walking away from the Alliance for this crew, and I won't have any regrets when I have to walk away from whatever version of the Alliance forms again." They wrapped their arms around each other and Jyn held on as if for dear life. Jyn thought about the past and how she kept repeating the mission to Scarif all of those years ago. Chirrut knew, but Cassian didn't, and maybe it was time to tell him.

"Cassian, I have something to tell you, but you can't think I'm insane or anything," Jyn said. Cassian moved back just enough that they were nearly nose to nose, so he was looking her in the eye.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Did you ever wonder why the Scarif mission went as well as it did? How did we manage to lose so few people?" Jyn asked, and Cassian blinked. "Well, the reason is the Force. The Force or something else made it, so I kept repeating the Scarif mission over and over again until I got it right. I died and had to watch you die so many times that it felt like it broke me. It took time, but I eventually got us out of there, and now we're here, facing another terrible future, and I worry that I won't have a second chance if the worst should happen. I'm worried that Scarif was a one time deal, and now I'll have to eventually watch you and Bodhi and Chirrut and Baze die horribly when I could have done something to keep us safe." Jyn took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I know how crazy that sounds, but you have to believe me."

"The night before, when you came to my room, and we lay in bed together, was that the only time that we did that?" Cassian asked, and Jyn shook her head.

"I learned so much about you, and we were together plenty of times. The truth was I loved you, and I spent so long wondering if you would ever come to love me back. I thought it was wrong that I had months of nights with you when you were just getting to know me," Jyn said. "Also, the one time I did tell you, you didn't take it well."

"So why tell me now?" Cassian asked.

"Because it's happening again, and that means we could die at any moment. I've been keeping this secret for twenty years, and I wanted you to know," Jyn said as Cassian took her into his arms. "Do you believe me?"

"I've seen some crazy things in the last two decades. The Force randomly deciding that the Scarif mission needed to go a certain way doesn't even rank. If that's what it took for me to gain the opportunity to be with you, then I'm glad," Cassian replied, and he kissed the top of her head. "And thank you for letting me find my way back to you in my own time." They lay together for a long time, and Jyn closed her eyes as she listened to Cassian's heartbeat. All she kept repeating in her head was 'it's happening again, it's happening again,' and that mantra kept repeating in her mind until Jyn eventually fell asleep.

+++

Seven years later, the First Order was becoming more and more of a problem. The Republic was operating under the assumption that these people were not a big deal, and it made Jyn want to scream. She wanted to tell them what it was like to stare down the Death Star more than once and how it burns when the wave of destruction hits her, but she couldn't. If she did, they would think she was insane. Jyn considered herself lucky that Cassian, Bodhi, Baze, and Kay took it as well as they did.

They were in the middle of nowhere when a comm went off, and Jyn recognized the signal; it was from Leia. They hadn't heard from her in a long time, and if she was calling them, then something must have happened. Jyn pulled up the call as they all gathered around. Leia appeared, and she looked like she'd been crying, which could only mean the world was coming to an end.

"Rogue One, I'm glad to see you're all doing well. I have many things I need to tell right away," Leia said. "I have broken away from the Senate and formed my own Resistance against the First Order. You know as well as I do what they are and what they are trying to do. I would like all of you involved, if possible. It can be a similar arrangement that we had at the end of the previous war."

"That is something we could talk about," Cassian said, and he narrowed his eyes. "There's something else that you don't want to tell us."

"This must be kept secret at all costs, and I'm only telling you because I've known you all for so long," Leia said, and she twisted her hands in a way that made her look so human instead of this figure of legend. "One day ago, my son attacked Luke's Jedi school. He killed all of the other trainees, burned it to the ground, and he's gone. We believe he has every intention of joining the First Order. Luke has also gone missing saying that he won't do any good in this fight. I don't know where he is." Everyone in Rogue One went completely silent; Jyn hadn't met Ben Solo many times, but he never seemed like a bad kid. He was precisely the kind of brat that could come from being the child of Leia Organa and Han Solo. She never got the impression he was evil.

Jyn glanced at Chirrut, who looked incredibly sad and resigned. She remembered how he wouldn't ever hold or play with Ben the way that he would with Poe or Jacen when they were children. Jyn had to wonder if Chirrut knew this entire time and didn't say anything or felt like he couldn't say anything. Cassian seemed to be the one to get his wits back out of all of them.

"Is he a threat to us directly? He knows us; he knows what we do, is he going to come after us?" Cassian asked.

"I don't know," Leia replied. "Please, come meet with me. I need to speak to you all about so many things. I need to see familiar faces. Han isn't here, Luke is missing, and Lando goes in and out of communication on a whim. I need my friends." Cassian was terrible at saying no to Leia Organa, and he agreed to meet with her. Jacen looked a little pale as he stared down at the floor. He was too young to remember the first war, and Jyn wished they would have left a safer galaxy for him to grow up in.

+++

For seven years, Rogue One moved throughout the galaxy fighting the First Order the best they could. They went on rescue missions; they managed to find evidence of Star Killer base; they did everything they could to fight. Jyn remembered hearing that Poe was joining up, and she wasn't surprised. She thought about how he was so much like Shara and how Kes was going to worry himself into an early grave. She heard about Poe's capture and wanted to go and get him back herself, but they were too far away. By the time they got close, Poe was already on his way home with quite a story to tell. Jyn wanted to go see him, but a warlord was looking to align with the First Order they needed to take care of.

Jacen wanted to be there for the fight against Star Killer, but that was too much. They were in the middle of liberating a city and couldn't get there on time. Chirrut and Baze were both in pain from the fight, and Jyn realized that they probably couldn't do this anymore. They needed to go back to base.

"I think our place is on the base," Chirrut said. "Not right now, but soon." There was a way he said it that made Jyn extremely confident that he would let her know when the time was right. Leia told them about a girl named Rey and a boy named Finn and how they were helping with the fight. They talked about how Rey was bringing Luke home. Chirrut said they should finish liberating the city they were currently fighting in, and then go to the new base.

It took time, longer than Jyn wanted, to finally get the First Order backed warlord into a fucking ditch where he belonged. This time it was Jacen who took the shot, and Jyn wondered if Hera was going to hate them for turning her son into a killer. They were pulling away from the planet when Leia sent them a comm.

"Come back quickly," she said. "My son got ahold of Poe, and I don't know what he's done to him. He could be dying, and I know he would want all of you there." Leia frowned as she looked around on the screen before any of them could say a word. "The medical wing just went into lockdown, and something is happening. You need to come back to base." Leia turned off the transmission, and they all looked at each other.

"Our place is on the base," Chirrut said. "The people that need us are there." Jyn glanced at Cassian, who had long ago given up trying to talk Chirrut out of anything.

"Bodhi, Jacen, take us to the new base," Cassian said. "It's where we need to be." Jyn settled down in a seat and wondered what kind of state the base was going to be in when they got there. She wondered if this was when Chirrut and Baze would stay behind for good. She wondered if things were about to change and if their place in the Resistance was going to change. Cassian sat down next to her, took her hand into his, and kissed her palm.

It was time to go back to base to look after Poe Dameron. They owed Shara and Kes that much at the very least.