Alone With My Knife

Alone with my knife
Nothing but my own heartbeat and breath
To keep my company
This is the solitude that I seek
Every single day
This silence is what I yearn for
When nothing else will quiet down
I find myself shaking
Though not with fear
I want pain
I’m anxious for the cut
I wonder if this will be last
Will this be the day I achieve greatness?
Pastors will pity me
Not that I died
But in their eyes I will be in hell
They pity and damn me
This solitude that consumes all
How I love it
Give me eternal solitude
And silence
Alone with my knife
Is this the end of me?
Yes
I think it so


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